Fitmas starts tomorrow!

I've joined Donloree's Fitmas Challenge and I'm ready to go!  This is a fitness challenge that runs from October 3 until Christmas.  Twelve weeks of weekly fitness challenges, and I'm planning to share those challenges and my results right here. 

To begin, we have some pics...





...taken today.

And measurements:

neck - 16"

chest - 45"

waist - 42"

hips - 52"

arm - 15"

thigh - 27"

And weight - 243.50

Hopefully in 12 weeks those numbers will ALL go down!

Another project that begins tomorrow is our Healthy Eating Challenge at the gym.  I'm really excited about this challenge!  Next Saturday we are going to the owner's house to sample some different healthy dishes.  Looking forward to trying some new foods and getting some new recipes.  We will be meeting weekly for support and weigh ins and to talk things over.  I think that will be key in helping all of us stay on track. 

I also got a Nike+ sensor yesterday and got to try it out today.  I love techy things, gadgets, and statistics and this covers all of those things.  Went for a 1 mile walk at the track today to calibrate it, and I can't wait to do a run/walk at the golf course trail.  I'm hoping by spring I'll be able to run a whole mile without stopping.  Right now, I can barely do 1 lap at the track.  Slowly but surely, I will get there!

Can't wait to see what my first Fitmas challenge will be tomorrow!

Monday Night Weigh In

Tonight's weight was 243.5, up 1.5 from last week.  Not very impressive, huh?  I had pizza last night for the first time in quite a while.  I was surprised to learn that I do not like pizza any more.  Huh, who knew?  Did not see that coming.  I'm glad, though, because it will certainly cut down on those cravings.  I need to remember how awful my stomach felt and how greasy and gross my mouth tasted for hours afterward.  Also, I'm sure that helped a great deal in that 1.5 lb gain.

I'm gearing up to help lead a Healthy Eating Challenge at the gym.  That's right.  I'm going to be trying to teach people how to eat healthy.  That seems so weird.  One of the things I want to do is visit a local grocery store and have their nutritionist give us a tour and teach us how to shop.  Seems simple, but I know there are people that this would really help.  Hopefully it will help some people in our group and they are interested in doing this!

Another weird thing that has been happening is that I'm starting to crave veggies.  None in particular...just want veggies in general with my meals.  Never saw that coming either. 

Hopefully my next weigh in report is better than this one.  I don't like seeing the scale continue to move in this direction!

Update

Tonight's weigh in was 242.0.  Not exactly moving in the right direction, huh?  I know why this weigh in was up from last week's (241.25).  The weekend was spent eating foods that I wouldn't normally be eating.  There was a wedding and the rehearsal dinner.  Instead of controlling myself, I allowed me to eat some cake.  And other junk I shouldn't have.  Not only did it show on the scale, but I also felt crappy after eating it.  My stomach hurt and I felt like I was going to get sick. 

After going through a horrible experience with my doctor this past Tuesday, I think I am finally going to get to see an endrocrinologist about my thyroid.  Even though my labs come back in normal ranges, I am still experiencing many symptoms, such as fatigue, inability to lose weight, etc.  The fatigue is what is really getting to me more than anything.  I really do not have the energy to do anything.  All I think about all the time is sleeping.  Once I wake up, my first thought is to calculate how much longer until I can lay down again.  It is difficult to get through a day without taking a nap of at least 1-2 hours.  I don't think that's normal!  Hopefully I can get some answers from an endo and life will improve.  If not, then I'll know that it's just me and I'll suck it up and deal with it.

In exciting news, today is my 19th wedding anniversary and I set a new PR on my back squat - 155 lbs!  Previous personal record was 135 lbs, so that's a 20 lb increase!  I think I could have even gone higher, too.  I came close to hitting 225 lbs on my deadlift, but my muscles were just too worn out from lifting the weight plates for the classes.  I don't mind, that's my job, after all.  Maybe next time!

Catch up on weigh ins...

Been a while since I posted.  Last time I checked in here, I was at 239.0.  Since then, I went back up to 243.50, and tonight was at 242.5.  My goal is to hit 239.0 by the end of the month. 

I thought I was taking a step in the right direction by amping up the exercise, but that didn't seem to work.  I'm a little frustrated right now and am trying to figure it out.  I will get this!

Classes start back up next Monday, so who knows how that's going to affect my efforts.  I'm taking FIN 301, Personal Finance, and PHYS 101, Intro to Astronomy.  Still on track to graduate in December 2012, and I hope to stay that way.  Am starting to look at master's degree programs because...apparently I enjoy the punishment.  Actually, there are several programs that I wish I could do but I don't have the time.  I would love to study accounting, law enforcement, dietetics, exercise science, writing, etc.  Might just take some classes in those areas "for fun" once I'm done with all the serious learning.  If I'm not completely burned out, that is.

Am hoping for a better report this time next week.  Will keep trying!

Weigh In #3

Tonight's weigh in showed the scale to be at 239.0!  Woo!  That's a loss of 3.25 from last week, and a loss of 9.5 lbs since I began this leg of the journey about a month ago.  It has not been easy, by any means.  I'm struggling to find some veggies that I like cooked in a way that I like.  Not doing so well on that yet.  If I could figure out the veggies, it would make things way easier.

I am really wanting pizza, pizza, pizza.  As I'm typing this, Guy Fieri is in a pizza joint on TV and it looks HEAVENLY!  Want, want, want!  I will allow myself to have some when I feel comfortable.  I also know that it will throw my weight off-kilter for a couple of days, so I have to be ready to deal with that, too. 

This is a marathon, not a sprint.  I can do this!

2nd Weigh In and New Foods

It's been a few weeks since I've been able to do my "official" Monday weigh in.  Tonight's weight was 242.25.  That's a loss of 6 lbs since I started.  It was a little more last Wednesday, but I think my body is holding on to some fluids.  I know I'm doing what I can, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

I should be able to post a little more frequently now.  I had to lay off for a while due to a class I was taking.  It was a nightmare.  I was getting about 3-4 hours of sleep each night, and all I did when I was awake was either work on homework, or worry about working on homework.  I finally emailed the professor and dropped the class.  It was so intense because it was a 16-week course condensed into a 4-week schedule.  Which is way too much for someone that works full-time.  I'm now going to take the class in the fall, during the regular 16-week semester.

Last post, I promised to come back and tell you about my experiment with ground turkey.  It was interesting.  I found a simple recipe online for delicious turkey burgers that called for 1 lb ground turkey, 2 eggs, and salt and pepper.  It didn't quite allow itself to be made into burgers, so I just threw the whole mess in the skillet and cooked it.  It was a little on the dry side.  Probably would not recommend it and will probably not eat them like that again.

Tonight we are trying a balsamic dijon chicken recipe that I found here:  GreenLightBites.  Roni has tons of recipes on her site and I've found several that I want to try, but never had time, or was brave enough.  Well guess what?  Now is that time.  I'll report back on that recipe, too!

Stepping outside the comfort zone

In order to lose this weight permanently, I have to change my lifestyle.  Notice I didn't say, "I have to go on a diet."  As Richard Simmons says, "The first three letters of diet are D-I-E, and I don't wanna die!"  Neither do I, so I'm making a lifestyle change.

As with any change, it's not easy.  I'm having to learn new ways of doing things.  There are some foods that will just have no room in my new life.  And I'm told that my taste buds will change and there are some foods that I will no longer wish to eat.  I know that this is true because I've drank diet soda for several years and the regular stuff is gross now.  I just have to get to that point where the greasy, fat-filled burgers/pizzas are unappealing instead of what I'm craving.

In order to make this lifestyle change, I have to learn to eat new foods.  This terrifies me for some reason.  I don't know how to prepare some foods, especially veggies.  I'm also afraid I won't like it and I'll waste money.  Or maybe I'll be a little hungry. 

Instead of being afraid, I know that I need to embrace the change and view it as an OPPORTUNITY.  A chance to experiment, find my inner Bobby Flay, Rachel Ray, or Guy Fieri (not Paula Deen, I think she's a heart attack in a pan).  Instead of thinking, "Gosh, what if I don't like it?" I should be thinking, "Gosh, what if this is delicious and I'm missing out???"

To help overcome my "fear" of new foods, I'm going to try something new at least once a week.  And I'm going to tell you all about it!  Win-win!  I will try a new food, and I'll get something to blog about, too!

I'm about to embark on my first experiment tonight!  I bought some ground turkey and I'm going to get all Bobby Flay on it and make turkey burgers.  Come back tomorrow to hear how that went!

Losing Les

I disappeared for a few days.  A lot has happened in those days.  Not all of it was pleasant.

On Thursday, we took Alex to Buffalo Wild Wings to celebrate his 18th birthday.  We had so much fun at dinner, laughing and joking.  I had the grilled chicken salad and it was ok.  I would have preferred a big, juicy burger, but I checked out the nutrition info beforehand, and after consulting with a couple of friends, it was decided the grilled chicken salad was the healthiest choice. 

Alex's birthday was actually on the 18th, but Thursday is 55 cent wing night, so he wanted to take advantage of that.  We told our server it was his birthday, and they sang and clapped, and had the whole restaurant clap for him.  He also got a big hunk of chocolate cake, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, all drizzled with a ton of chocolate syrup.  He was not interested in sharing.

We got home around 8p.  I pulled into the driveway, put the car in park, and looked at the clock.  I commented to Mike that we should go see his step-dad, Les.  And so we did.  A little background on this part - Les is 91 years old.  He stopped breathing last Monday (June 13).  My mother-in-law, Mary Ann, did a sort of CPR and got him back.  He was in ICU at Memorial Medical Center, in Springfield, for about a week.  He returned to Rushville on Wednesday, June 22, and was admitted to the local nursing home for a week of physical therapy. 

We visited with him for about 45 minutes to an hour.  He didn't quite have the pep that he normally did, but that was understandable after being on a ventilator in ICU for almost a week, and laying around in a hospital.  He looked great though, and was happy to see us.  We said our goodbyes and went home.

At 10p, Mike's phone rang.  It was his mom.  Les was in cardiac arrest.  She had just left the nursing home about 20 minutes prior, and the nursing staff was putting him to bed.  He stopped breathing again. 

I was in my pajamas, so Mike went to the ER.  I stayed home, waiting to hear.  I finally texted Mike and asked if I should come.  He said that I should.  I threw on some clothes and headed in the nightmare.

When I got to the ER, one doctor was just coming out of the room to talk to Mary Ann.  He was asking her if we wanted to intubate Les again to keep him breathing.  There were many things to consider -- all at once.  It was sort of a "danged if you do, danged if you don't" situation.  If she chose not to, then she would live the rest of her life wondering if she'd essentially signed his death warrant.  If she chose to do it, then we might face the decision of having to "pull the plug" later on because he might end up a shell of a human, being kept breathing by science and machines.

The choice was made for her.  The other doctor came out and said that they could not get a heartbeat...and lots of other horrible things.  It's not like in the movies, where they come out and say, "I'm sorry.  We tried everything and there was nothing we could do."  In reality, they will tell you all the signs of death, and make you understand without a doubt that your loved one is gone.  It was a little more harsh than what I had imagined.  In some ways, that's good; but it's very painful to hear.  It was also difficult for me to wrap my mind around at the time, for some stupid reason.  Denial is a very potent mind drug, I guess.

So the last few days have been a little surreal, as they are when you lose a loved one.  Each time I wake up, I know something has gone wrong, but it takes just a couple of seconds for it to come back.  I hate that. 

Ironically enough, Les passed away on June 23.  That is the same day that my mother-in-law lost her mother, 16 years ago.  We buried Grammy on June 26 - which happens to be Mary Ann's birthday.  So that she didn't have to endure the burial of a loved on a second time in her life, we agreed that it was fine to delay everything a few days.  His visitation will be Monday evening, and his funeral will be Tuesday.

Right now, we are all in that numb/surreal stage...a sort of emotional cocoon.  He's not there, we know.  He's not coming back, we know.  But we haven't had the services that will give us that sense of closure.  That will come soon enough.

Heroes and Veggies

Tonight's CrossFit workout was what we call a "Hero Workout."  They are created and named in honor of a service man/woman that gave their life for our country.  They are hard.  They suck.  But it is an honor and privilege to do them.  As I told the class tonight, they made the ultimate sacrifice, so the least we can do is make a small sacrifice in the gym by doing this workout.

I have a problem with negative self-talk when I do these hard workouts.  It gives me time to think and I get upset with myself because of what I can't do.  But that also drives me to go harder.  I know I am capable of more, but there's too much bulk to move around very fast.  And I know I am WAY harder on myself than anyone could ever dream of being.  I expect perfection and get angry when I don't give it. 

The details of the workout.... 3 rounds, for time:  50 sumo deadlift high-pulls; 25 burpees (not able to do, subbed 25 squats and 25 push ups); 25 box jumps; run 400 meters.  I finished in 29:16.  I'm still mad at myself. 

I've been trying to expand my food horizons with steamed veggies.  I hate vegetables, except the ones that really aren't good for me - like corn!  Love corn, but corn is actually a grain, and grains are of the devil.  Monday night I had a bag of steamed veggies that included roasted potatoes (also evil), peppers (ick), and snap peas.  Oh my stars, I hate snap peas!  They were awful, but I ate them all anyway.  I reminded myself what Andy and Kristy have told me - food is fuel. 

Tonight, I had a different bag of veggies.  I didn't pay a lot of attention to what was in there.  I knew cauliflower (ick), carrots (ick), and something else.  I was exhausted (still am) when I got home from the gym, so I just threw the bag in the microwave.  As it cooked, I could smell this horrid odor that was vaguely familiar.  I was too tired to really process it though.  I finally got up and got the bag out and opened it up.  Oh!  The smell was atrocious!  I checked the list of veggies -- those stupid snap peas AGAIN!

I've been sitting here with the bowl beside me for over an hour now.  I'm hungry, but I have to eat my veggies before I can have the chicken that Mike grilled for me.  *sigh*

Made a donation today...

Had 10 inches of hair cut off today.  I have SO wanted to chop off my ponytail for AGES!  I am loving it already, and it's not even styled yet.  The ponytail is sitting in an envelope, waiting to be sent to Locks of Love.  It will help a child somewhere that is being affected by a disease that causes him/her to lose hair.  I would much rather have it go for that purpose than just end up in the trash.

What's new with YOU?

1st Weigh In

It's Monday and that means time to weigh in!  Starting weight, as we will recall, was 248.50.  I needed to see the number get smaller to help me keep going.  Since I opened my eyes Thursday morning, I have been putting one foot in front of the other, trying to eat healthier in order to drop these pounds.  I've got the exercise down pat, but the eating is where I struggle.  I am delighted to say that after 5 days, I now weigh 244.25.  That's a loss of 4.25 lbs!

Our CrossFit workout tonight was finding our back squat max for 3 reps.  That means seeing how much weight can I back squat 3 times in a row.  I got 5 chances to find out.  My weights went like this:  95-95-105-115-125.  I was pleased with the 125.  My max back squat for a single rep is 135.  I think that one needs to go up now.

My Short Story class started today, so I have some reading to do already, so I'm going to cut this short.  I have been learning a lot since I started this journey on Thursday.  One of the things I've learned is that you've GOT to have a good support system in place.  I am so thankful that I have people in my life that have expertise in several different areas.  You are all helping me in different ways.  By leaning on my friends and family when this becomes hard, I will be able to get through this and reach my goal.  If I can convince any of you to take this healthy eating journey with me, then that will really make me happy.  It's not an easy journey by any means.  It's hard, it sucks at times, and it brings out my inner 3 year old...but it will be worth it in the end.

One day at a time, one meal at a time.

Adventures in Cooking, a 30-day Challenge, and Wildlife

In an effort to get more veggies into my life, I decided to try grilled zucchini the other night.  Although the Food Network (food porn...oh yeah!) is one of my most favorite channels, that does not mean I possess the ability to cook. 

I Googled some recipes and finally decided that I would just toss zucchini slices in olive oil and add a little salt and pepper.  Simple, right? What could possibly go wrong?  How about waaaaay too much salt and pepper?  Yeah.  So I ended up washing off the slices and starting all over.  Mike grilled them for me, and then I sprinkled on some garlic powder for added flavor, and they weren't too bad.  It's not something I will sit and daydream about eating again, but it was food, the flavor wasn't horrible, and I didn't die after eating it.  Those are all highly desirable qualities that I look for in food.  You should, too.

This afternoon, I got a text out of the blue from my friend, Kristy, in Tennessee.  She asked if I would like to participate in a 30-day challenge with her, starting tomorrow.  She is going to give up soda, because she is brave and has the soul of a warrior.  I, on the other hand, do not wish to end up in prison for killing random people, so I quickly decided that I would not like to give up soda, but I would give up chocolate instead.  When I told Mike what I had agreed to, he informed me that this did not mean I could eat everything in my chocolate "stash" tonight.  What he doesn't know won't kill him.  So go Kristy and go me!  We can do this!

We spent the afternoon in Macomb, doing our weekly grocery shopping.  We got home around 6:30 p.m., so Nick and I decided to go for a walk at the local park, Scripps.  They recently put in a walking trail around the golf course.  We had gone one evening last week, around 9 p.m., and it was a lot dark and just a tad scary because the trail is about 2 miles and goes through "the forest" (as Nick called it).  Since it was still daylight tonight, we thought we might see what it was we couldn't see the other night.

It was about 7p when we got there.  Nick asked how many times I thought we could walk the trail before it got dark.  Apparently, he no longer has a desire to walk there after dark now.  I told him we could probably do it 2 or 3 times.  So he decided that's what we would do - we would just walk until it was dark!  Ummm...ok.

As we walked, we saw bunnies, squirrels, a beautiful red cardinal, and then....a SNAKE!  I came very close to stepping on it, and Nick claims I screamed, "OH GOD!"  I will not deny it at all.  I was brave enough to go back and look at it, just to confirm what I thought I had seen - it was dead.  Thank God, or that child would have had to walk back to the car by himself because I would have taken off running across the golf course and left him there.  I don't mind bunnies, squirrels, or beautiful red cardinals, but I do mind walking with snakes.  Blah!

We only walked the trail once.  One snake a night is my limit - dead or alive.

My weigh in nights will be Monday nights, so I'll be giving an update on my new weight tomorrow night.  I will say that I took a sneak peek at the gym yesterday...and I'll tell you tomorrow what the official number is.  I have been doing pretty good on eating - not eating too much and too terrible.  There are things that can be improved, and that will come with time.

I'm a little bit afraid that I may have too much on my plate, so to speak, because one of my summer classes starts tomorrow, and I know it's going to take a lot of time.  My other class starts July 5, and they both end July 29.  The next 6 weeks will be a little crazy, but I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, as best I can.  I know I have a few people reading this already, and I thank you for that.  I don't want to let any of you down.  I'm hoping that by knowing you are all out there, following what I'm doing, it will help keep me on track.  And I know several off you will personally kick my butt if I get off track.  And that's ok.  One day at a time, one meal at a time.

About Me...

I'm currently 41 years old.  I've been married to Mike for almost 19 years now.  We have two boys, Alex (18 years old today), and Nick (age 12).  I am an admissions officer at a local university and I enjoy what I do.  That's my full-time gig.  I also work 3 evenings a week at a gym.  Since that doesn't fill up 24 hours, I also take classes part-time and hope to complete my bachelor's degree by December 2012.  Oh, and I volunteer at our church a couple of hours a week, too.  I love when people tell me they don't have time for working out.

I've been overweight since I was a teenager.  Not terribly so, but enough to make me unhappy and hold me back from doing things.  I didn't suffer from any cruel comments or anything like that, I just liked to eat.  I think I weighed about 160 lbs when I graduated from high school, and wore about a size 16.  Over the years, the weight has continued to creep on, which now has me weighing 248.5 lbs, and wearing a size 24 or 2-3X.  My highest recorded weight was 278, in 2002.  So there's that.

In May 2008, I joined our local gym, thinking that exercise in a controlled environment was the magic formula missing from my success.  I lost a little, gained it back.  And have done that more times than I can count.  One of the guys there once told me that losing weight was 80% diet.  I looked him in the eye and vigorously nodded my head in agreement, while scoffing at the notion on the inside.  Guess what?  He was right, and I've proved him correct.  I work my butt off in the gym (not literally, unfortunately) but have little to show for it.  If you felt my arms before May 2008, you would feel flab covered by more flab.  If you felt them now, you could feel some rock-hard muscles...covered by a thick layer of flab.  Not pretty.

While at the gym, I observed the owner, Andy, and another member, Tyler, doing this crazy-looking workout called CrossFit.  They tried to encourage me to try it, but again - scoffing.  I should really stop that.  Andy sort of tricked me into a CrossFit workout in May 2009, and much to my surprise, I absolutely LOVED it.  And I've been doing it ever since.  Me!  A 250 lb woman!  Doing that crazy workout stuff!  And now I help teach classes.

And now it's time to make some changes in my life and get my large butt in gear.  This weight has got to go -- once and for all!  I'm tired of all the negativity that goes with being overweight - the depression, the isolation, the lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, the fear, the self-consciousness.  All of it has got to go.  It's been with me for too long and I want it GONE!

So that's where this blog comes in.  I plan to use it to document my journey as a lose this weight through CrossFit and changing my eating habits.  This plan starts now.