After a great deal of research and discussion, I made the decision this week to begin the process for weight loss surgery. This was not an easy decision by any means. This is not something I rushed into, either. This is not something that everyone is going to agree with, however, this is something I feel is right for me.
I have been trying to lose weight for many years, with minimal success. I've tried every diet under the sun, too. I can exercise until the cows come home, but this weight just will not come off now. Age? Metabolism? I don't know but I'm tired of getting no results.
Weight loss surgery is a TOOL. It is a very powerful, irreversible tool. There will be work to be done leading up to the surgery, and there will be work to be done every single day after the surgery. It is not a magic fix. They don't do the surgery and then I can eat whatever I want and lose, lose, lose. I still have to eat healthy and exercise. That will never stop. There will never come a day when I can say, "I am done." and then start eating junk. I will have good days and I will have bad days, just like everyone else. This will not make my marriage perfect, my job perfect, my kids perfect, or any other aspect of my life perfect. I will still have disagreements with my husband. Things at work will stress me out. My kids will continue to make me nuts. My life will still be just as crazy at is it now, but I will be seeing success on the scale if I'm doing the work.
This will not be a fast process, either, and I may not even be approved by the doctor. I have to see a team, similar to that which I worked with at the weight loss clinic. I will have to meet with a nurse practitioner, nutritionist, physical therapist, and psychologist. There will be classes to take and support groups to attend. I plan to continue to research and read as much as I can about this. I've found some great forums online and am currently lurking, reading. I have a friend who just had the surgery and I'm talking to her to gain her fresh perspective, and a friend who had the surgery 5 1/2 years ago and has kept a great deal of weight off. I have different questions for each of these ladies and they are kind enough to share their experiences with me.
If you don't agree with my decision, that's ok. I'm the one that has to live with it, not you, so it's ok. Only my husband knows exactly what I've been going through because he's watched me suffer, struggle, and he's been the one to wipe up my tears when I step on the scale and have to face a gain when there should be a loss. He knows and he supports this decision. As my biggest supporter and best friend, his support is the only one I really need.
I've submitted the paperwork to the Bariatric Center at Memorial Hospital in Springfield and I'm just waiting for them to schedule my first appointment. Of course, you know I will be keeping you all up to date on this process. I have a lot of goals that I want to accomplish and I think this is my best opportunity for reaching those goals. I hope you will all stick along for the ride. I promise, it's going to get pretty exciting! There are going to be more 5Ks, some 10Ks, half marathons, maybe a full marathon, some obstacle course runs, and maybe even some triathlons! Yes, those are all things I want to do! And I will do them!
Are you ready? I am.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Catch up
It's been a few weeks since I last posted, I know. I've had a lot going on and a lot on my mind. I finished up my two grad classes and I'm still getting used to no homework. I'm now 14 hours into my master's degree (still with a 4.0 gpa! WOO!) with 21 hours to go. If things go according to plan I will graduate in December 2015. I can't wait!
Speaking of wait/weight, I don't even know what to say. It's all over the place. Last week I was down 5 lbs and this week I'm up 2 lbs. I guess that's still a loss of 3 lbs, though, so I'll take it. I have been doing a LOT of thinking about and researching weight loss surgery. I am very strongly leaning toward it right now. It's a decision for me and me alone, though, regardless of what anyone else thinks or wants me to do.
Only my husband and I know exactly how hard I have been working at this weight loss and the lack of results make me want to cry. I would love to be able to inspire everyone and say that it's so simple - eat less, move more! But it's not working for my body for whatever reason. I can only bang my head against a wall so many times before I have to stop because it hurts. And it's starting to hurt a LOT. Surgery, however is not a cure-all or a magic fix. It's a tool. A very, very powerful, irreversible tool. And this is a hard decision.
I met with the HyVee Dietitian for the last time on Wednesday and was disappointed to see that my weight was up 6 or 8 lbs from what I started with at my first visit with her in January. She wanted me to reduce my calories even further but I'm scared. What happens if I do reduce them and lose a little and stall again? I cannot keep reducing, reducing, reducing until I am taking in nothing, can I? I don't think it will do anything, but I will try tweaking my calories for a bit to see what happens. If I am not comfortable with the tweaks, I'll go back to where I am now. I'm already relatively low carb, which I didn't even realize until I started looking back at my entries on MyFitnessPal. I was a little surprised by it, but Jennifer was not. She's a smart cookie, that one.
In other news, my youngest son and I went to St. Louis last weekend for the 2014 Heart Walk at Busch Stadium. We walked 3 miles around the streets of downtown St. Louis and ended with a walk around the field at the stadium. It was very, very cool to be down there, even though I'm not a big baseball fan any more. Back in the day, though, I was a huge Cardinals fan and that will never change. My idol, Ozzie Smith, was the honorary chair of the event and I was really hoping we would get to meet him, but the opportunity never even came up. He did give a speech before the race, but it was so noisy it was hard to hear.
Yesterday, Nick and I traveled to Quincy to take part in our 2nd Bridge the Gap 5K walk. The finisher medals we got were incredible! They were huge, heavy and on a nice wide ribbon. It felt like we were Olympic champions almost! Next year Nick wants to run the 5K. I want to try it too. I hope I am able. Then maybe the following year we'll do the 10K, and then the half marathon! Oh yeah, I have big dreams. One way or another they WILL come true.
I'm not sure what our next race will be. There's one in Mt. Sterling in June that I'd like to do and I might try running a little at that one. We'll see. I also want to get my bike out and go for rides. It needs a little work, which my husband has promised to complete this week. I also need to get a bike helmet. And probably a big pillow to pad my butt. LOL
What kinds of plans do you have to stay active this summer? Do you like to participate in organized events? If so, what is your most favorite that you've done?
Speaking of wait/weight, I don't even know what to say. It's all over the place. Last week I was down 5 lbs and this week I'm up 2 lbs. I guess that's still a loss of 3 lbs, though, so I'll take it. I have been doing a LOT of thinking about and researching weight loss surgery. I am very strongly leaning toward it right now. It's a decision for me and me alone, though, regardless of what anyone else thinks or wants me to do.
Only my husband and I know exactly how hard I have been working at this weight loss and the lack of results make me want to cry. I would love to be able to inspire everyone and say that it's so simple - eat less, move more! But it's not working for my body for whatever reason. I can only bang my head against a wall so many times before I have to stop because it hurts. And it's starting to hurt a LOT. Surgery, however is not a cure-all or a magic fix. It's a tool. A very, very powerful, irreversible tool. And this is a hard decision.
I met with the HyVee Dietitian for the last time on Wednesday and was disappointed to see that my weight was up 6 or 8 lbs from what I started with at my first visit with her in January. She wanted me to reduce my calories even further but I'm scared. What happens if I do reduce them and lose a little and stall again? I cannot keep reducing, reducing, reducing until I am taking in nothing, can I? I don't think it will do anything, but I will try tweaking my calories for a bit to see what happens. If I am not comfortable with the tweaks, I'll go back to where I am now. I'm already relatively low carb, which I didn't even realize until I started looking back at my entries on MyFitnessPal. I was a little surprised by it, but Jennifer was not. She's a smart cookie, that one.
In other news, my youngest son and I went to St. Louis last weekend for the 2014 Heart Walk at Busch Stadium. We walked 3 miles around the streets of downtown St. Louis and ended with a walk around the field at the stadium. It was very, very cool to be down there, even though I'm not a big baseball fan any more. Back in the day, though, I was a huge Cardinals fan and that will never change. My idol, Ozzie Smith, was the honorary chair of the event and I was really hoping we would get to meet him, but the opportunity never even came up. He did give a speech before the race, but it was so noisy it was hard to hear.
Yesterday, Nick and I traveled to Quincy to take part in our 2nd Bridge the Gap 5K walk. The finisher medals we got were incredible! They were huge, heavy and on a nice wide ribbon. It felt like we were Olympic champions almost! Next year Nick wants to run the 5K. I want to try it too. I hope I am able. Then maybe the following year we'll do the 10K, and then the half marathon! Oh yeah, I have big dreams. One way or another they WILL come true.
I'm not sure what our next race will be. There's one in Mt. Sterling in June that I'd like to do and I might try running a little at that one. We'll see. I also want to get my bike out and go for rides. It needs a little work, which my husband has promised to complete this week. I also need to get a bike helmet. And probably a big pillow to pad my butt. LOL
What kinds of plans do you have to stay active this summer? Do you like to participate in organized events? If so, what is your most favorite that you've done?
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