Weekly weigh in and exciting things to come!

So the scale stayed the same as last week.  At face value, that's rather disappointing, but digging a little deeper...it's actually a good thing (in my best Martha Stewart voice).  Last weekend I spent some time self-sabotaging and the weight went up, up, up.  I was actually up 3 MORE pounds by mid-week, so to be back where I started is ok with me.

I've been trying to surround myself with positive, motivational stuff.  Whether it's a great Facebook page, an inspirational blog, or the reddit pages my little brother has shared with me (thanks Andy!).  Many of them talk about "hard work," of course.  I always felt I was working hard and doing what I can because I will work my butt off in the gym, and then some.  The other night as I was driving home, I was thinking about "hard work" and what it meant.  I came to the rather difficult realization that I'm NOT working hard...at least in a well-rounded way.

I give my all at the gym.  Whether I'm lifting or doing cardio, I'm working up a sweat and giving 110%.  If time were not a factor, I could easily spend a couple of hours working up a sweat at the gym.  Ok, I've got the exercise part of the equation down.  There is no doubt about that.  Once I get this knee fixed again, I hope to crank that stuff back up again.  But we'll see.

We all know the other part of the weight loss equation, and that is nutrition/food/eating.  And here is where I have consistently fallen down for years.  If you do not believe that weight loss is 70-80% nutrition and 20-30% exercise, message me and I can fill you in.  I am the poster child for proving that is true.  I. Am. A. Food. Addict.  I'm not a binge eater, but I am addicted to food and there are certain ones that I just cannot resist.

Which leads to the thoughts I was having as I was driving home.  Weight loss/lifestyle change/whatever you wish to label this journey...takes hard work.  I'm only doing half of that work, so I'm NOT doing hard work.  I'm doing half-way work.  Medium work.  Mediocre work. 

What?!?!?!

What about all the sweat and tears I've given in the gym?  What about all the pain I've put my body through with my workouts?  What about the injuries?  What about all the TIME I've invested at the gym? 

I'm not saying that was not worth it, nor was it meaningless.  My blood pressure is great and I have no real health problems.  I'm way more healthy than I appear on the surface.  So it was all worth it and will continue to be worth it.

But I'm not giving the full effort in the kitchen that I've been giving in the gym.  Those two side of the equation have to balance or success will NOT be the answer.  And by success, I mean weight loss.  The food part of this journey has got to change.  To do that, I'm going to have to step outside of my comfort zone and try some new foods, new spices, new methods of cooking, etc.  I've had this thought in the past, but I've managed to quash it down and ignore it.  It's time to bring that thought out to the open, take a good hard look at it, poke it, prod it, and figure out how to implement it.  There is no other way.  I've tried them all, so I know! 

First step in this direction is to meet with Jennifer, the dietitian at the Macomb Hy-Vee store.  I have an appointment with on Wednesday after work.  I'm hoping she can give me some guidance, suggestions, and ideas on how to get my plan started.  I know, from my friend's experience with her, that she will take me around the store and give me suggestions on things to do with various foods and how to bring them together to create something good. 

I need that because I do not know how to combine foods.  I'm ignorant when it comes to spices other than salt and pepper.  But I've been AFRAID to try anything for fear of failing.  I've let that fear paralyze me and keep me in this blasted rut for years!  I'M TIRED OF THIS RUT AND I WANT OUT!

Another step in that direction will be research.  Great recipes and food ideas are not going to fall from the heavens and land in my lap.  Although I love Food Network, they do not have a show (yet) called, "Hey Angie!  Let Us Cook You Some Delicious Food So You Don't Have To Think About It!"  (This idea is MY property and if you steal it and pitch it to Food Network and make a trazillion dollars I will hunt you down and cut holes in your socks and I will also think bad thoughts about you.)  So instead of wasting time waiting for Facebook to update, or playing Candy Crush, or any of the other timewasting methods I employ on weekends, I need to spend time scouring the internet, cookbooks, blogs, etc for food ideas.  Pinterest is a wonderful place to "store" things you've found on the internet.  I should put it to better use than for storing pictures of funny cats and witty quotes.  Huh.  Novel idea there, eh?

Ok, so I'm working on the food thing.  And that's also a good thing (see 1st paragraph regarding how that should sound).

Yet another step I'm taking to move this journey along is I took a risk and applied for a spot in the Biggest Loser Competition that the Campus Rec Center is hosting.  They only pick 10 applicants to work with.  Well, there were only 5 applicants (so far) and I'm in.  I'm sad that more people didn't apply because it's a great opportunity.  There will be a weekly meeting and I'll get to work with a personal trainer (student) at least once a week for an hour workout.  I'm always up for learning new things, so this excites me.  I hope we get some more applicants so we have a bigger group for the weekly support meetings.  But if not, I'm going to take these people down and leave them in my dust (except for my friend, KW, who I made convinced to sign up with me).  I want to WIN, dang it! 

Change is hard, though, so I'm not trying to make myself do this overnight.  My inclination is to do just that, but I know it will just make me mad/frustrated/irritated/upset and I'll withdraw and quit.  Been there, done that!  So I'm just trying to be more mindful of what I'm eating - and how much - for now.  We've all heard it said:  food is fuel.  If I choose the foods that make my body happy, my body will do amazing things for me.  I've never given it that opportunity because I've never been able to give up the junk.  I'm not saying I will never, ever, ever, ever eat "junk" food again, but I am saying it's presence on my food logs needs to be greatly reduced. 

I can do this.  I've gone through harder changes in my life.  And it will only be hard for a little while.  Once we get used to new habits, they start to seem easy.  I've just got to get to that point without quitting as I have before!

Weigh in and set back

I was up 3 lbs this morning.  It's really upsetting to see a gain, knowing I've worked so hard this week.  I went to the gym 4 nights and burned at least 500 calories or more with every workout.  I've eaten pretty decent and I've logged every single bite that went into my mouth.  I have resisted a stupid bowl of caramel Kisses that sits less than 2 feet from my desk every single day.  Yesterday I ate the lunch I had prepared at home instead of ordering out with the girls at work.  And my body repays me by showing there's 3 more pounds of me to love and adore?  Ughhhhh...I could do without that kind of humor, body.

So my first reaction to this is anger.  And as an emotional eater, I want to soothe my feelings with food.  ALL. THE. FOOD.  So I let the feeling stew for a bit and explored it and poked at it.  I feel angry because my body seems to be betraying me.  I don't understand why my body does this, but this is not the first time I've had this happen. 

I'm also angry because I know some may see/read/hear this and think, "Well obviously she must have been pigging out and lying about it."  I have been guilty of this type of behavior and then feigning surprise when I gained, but this is not one of those times.  But people will think what they want and we'll all go on with our lives. 

Now that the anger has subsided and I'm not in danger of eating all the food (you're welcome), I've got to come up with a plan to figure this out and to help me.  I'm tired of having this experience!  Right now my plan is to continue to do what I've been doing.  I'm going to eat as healthy as I am able, workout as much as I am able, and track everything with MyFitnessPal (as I have been).  I think it's also time to consult a dietitian and see what light she can shed on the situation. 

As soon as I publish this, I'm going to email Jennifer, my local HyVee dietitian and see when we can start meeting.  She has a deal where I can meet with her for 10 sessions for $60.  I've spent a lot of money on stupid weight loss gimmicks over the years, so maybe it's time to stop paying for magic solutions that do nothing and spend a little on something that will actually help.  Now there's a novel concept!

How do you deal with an unexpected gain?  Do you let it derail you completely or do you fight back?  I'm planning to fight back and I sincerely hope that my next weigh in report is a great one!

Weigh in and Week In Review

I am pleased that I've lost another pound as of today.  I would be lying if I said that I'm thrilled with it, because I was naturally hoping for more, but it's better than a gain.  So I now have 5 lbs to go this month to hit the goal I set for myself.  I will need to pick up the pace if that's going to happen!

This week was kind of crazy because we got hit with a bunch of snow and freezing cold temps.  It was -15 below, but with the windchill it was "feeling like" -40+ below in areas.  On Monday, the University was closed, so I got another day off.  My youngest son was supposed to go back to school, but they closed, too.  On Tuesday, his school closed for the 2nd day, but WIU opened at noon.  That was a weird day.  It worked out just fine because I had new international students to check in.  I kept reassuring them that it wasn't always this cold in Illinois!  I hope they believe me. 

I went to the Rec Center every night this week (except Monday - they were closed) and did at least 2 miles on the elliptical and at least 6 miles on the recumbent bike.  Both of those hurt my knee, but if I walk a lap or two around the track afterward, it gets better.  On Thursday, I was able to buy my friend her Wellness Pass to the Rec as her graduation gift.  She will get a 6 week membership and I hope she joins up after trying it.  She worked out with me on Thursday and Friday.  It was nice to have someone to meet there because otherwise, I may have talked myself into going home.

We both commented on the fact that both of those machines make our feet go numb after a certain amount of usage.  I thought it was just me, so I just dealt with it (and was annoyed by it), but since she said they did it to her, too, I wondered if anyone else has this problem.  I'll have to Google that and see what's up.  I tend to move my feet on the elliptical or arc machine pedals, so I have to watch that I don't get them smashed to the edges because that can hurt, too. 

It's funny because there are several TVs in front of several of the cardio machines at the Rec and I always get the machine that is in front of the TV that is showing CNN.  I've become quite informed about the Dennis Rodman/North Korea prisoner controversy AND the Chris Christie Bridge Scandal.  The amount of time that CNN devotes to hashing and rehashing these things just floors me. 

One night I also watched (for the first time ever) an episode of "Sister Wives."  ICK.  I'm sorry, but I do not agree with polygamy and I think it is wrong.  But the women in the show seem to make it work in their lives and that's fine.  I respect their choice, but I would prefer to not watch it.  However, the show was like a car accident, where I didn't want to watch it, but yet I couldn't look away.  The one thing I couldn't figure out, is where do these people get their money???  None of them seemed to work and it appears they all have nice homes, nice clothes, etc.  The episode I saw, they were nearing completion of their "family house" in Vegas.  So if they don't work, how are they building this house? At one point, the dad said there were 22 members of his family, so that's going to be a BIG house.  Or apartment complex.  I don't know what it is. 

This weekend the rest of the students are returning to WIU, and classes begin Monday.  I'm taking 2 more graduate classes this semester, so my time is going to get a little more crazy.  I've already had one of the professors, so I think I know what to expect in his class.  The other one will be new, so I don't know what his will be like.  Hopefully I can keep up!

Oh, the other new thing for this week was that I tried juicing!  No, not steroids, but fruit/veggie juicing.  The first concoction I made was called "Mean Green" (you can Google it) and it consisted of 1 cucumber, 2 handfuls of spinach, 1/2 lemon, 2 apples, 4 stalks of celery, and a little bit of ginger root.  OMG, it was icky.  I did not care for it at all.  It was a bit too "green" tasting for me.  I think I could experiment and get rid of the bad taste, but I haven't been so inclined yet.  The other one I've fiddled with was one my youngest brother suggested, and it was delicious!  I used some frozen strawberries and blueberries, 1 apple, 2-3 carrots, some pineapple, an orange, and a lemon.  VERY GOOD! 

So that's been my week.  It's been kind of stressful, so I'm glad it's over.  I'm really happy that my friend is working out, too.  I don't care what people do to get their sweat on, just that they're doing it.  Find something you love, and it's easy to stay committed!

Weigh in and Crazy Day

Stepped on the scale today and was pleased to see that I was down 1 lb.  Then I was disappointed, "ONLY 1 LB???"  Well, better than a gain, I guess.  But then I remembered that that was from what I weighed on Wednesday, New Years Day.  So from Wednesday morning to Saturday morning, I lost a pound!  OK!  That's a lot happier!

So yesterday was completely crazy.  Everything was going pretty smooth until 1:15ish.  A lady that works in my department returned from lunch and informed me that my rear driver's side tire was completely flat.  Ugh!  Being the Princess that I am, I called Mike.  The bad thing was that he was mandated for overtime and didn't get home until 12:30 in the afternoon.  He had just gotten in bed and was falling asleep when I called.  He said he would head to Macomb to change it for me around 4p.  I felt horrible, knowing he would be so tired.  I know HOW to change a tire, but I'm not sure where to safely put the jack, and I'm terrified of putting it in the wrong place and the car falling off of it.  I don't even like being around jacked up cars when Mike has done it.  It just makes me incredibly nervous.

So I was telling a friend about this, and she pointed out that I could call the campus police and one of their parking agents could air it up.  Ok, worth a shot.  So I called and one of the guys met me and aired up my tire.  Yay!  I decided to go back down at 4p to make sure it was still holding air.  I texted Mike my plan and he approved. 

At 4p, I got on the elevator in my building to go down and check my tire.  Working at a public university, I see many weird things when the students are present.  Right now, they are still on break, so it's only faculty and staff that are on campus.  When I got on the elevator, I noticed something lying on the floor.  It was a still-wrapped Cornish game hen.  I didn't even know what to think.  I just chuckled and went about my business.  Luckily the tire was holding air, so I called Mike and told him to keep sleeping.  The game hen was still there when I went back to my office.  A few inquiries to those on my floor produced nothing.  We had a bona fide mystery that remains unsolved.  The game hen in question was gone, though, when we left for the day at 4:30.  No one knows where it went!

I drove home, worried about my tire the entire way.  Thankfully I made it just fine and it's still holding air.  Yay!  However, Alex got off work and needed to wash his one and only uniform for work because he was scheduled to work today, too.  The water lines to the washer were frozen.  Ugh!  Mike worked and worked and worked on them but could not get them unfrozen.  So I kind of spot cleaned his clothes and threw them in the dryer.  Luckily it was pretty clean (he works at an auto parts store), so no biggie. 

Then my mom texted me around 9p to see if we had power.  It was super cold last night and windy.  Yes, we had power.  She said no one on their street had any and asked me to call Ameren to report it.  So I did. The lady asked for a callback number, and since I do not have Mom's cell memorized, I gave her my cell.  Turns out Mom lost power because a tree limb fell across the power and cable lines.  The power company got things going for them about 2 hours later around 11p.  No one was hurt in the process and everyone got their electricity back again.  Yay!

I finally went to bed really late, around midnight or so, and read for about an hour.  I was awakened at 7:05 a.m. with an auto-call from Ameren to inform me that my power had been restored.  OMG...how helpful is that??????  Next time, I will write down my mom's cell number so they can call her and tell her that she has power again.  I appreciate their helpfulness, but not at 7a on a Saturday!  I like to be sleeping at that time.  Now 8a would have been more acceptable for me.  If anyone from Ameren is reading this, please make a note.  Some of us like to sleep a little on Saturdays.

Today has been pretty quiet and I'm glad.  Yesterday was nuts enough!

Baby it's cold outside!

I took Duke for a little walk this evening to fulfill my goal of walking with him every day for at least 1 mile.  I had to pick him up six times and carry him while holding one of his paws in my hand to warm it up.  He was getting snow and ice melt stuff packed in there, which happens during this time of year.  As I carried him, he was shivering so hard since he wasn't moving to warm himself up.  I decided that I need to revise this goal.

New goal:  Duke and I will walk at least 1 mile every night -- as long as the weather is not dangerous for either of us.  Monday they are forecasting a high temperature of -3 degrees F.  Neither of us needs to be out in temps like that.  I want to get healthy, not kill myself or my little dog. 

I've been trying to be more cognizant of what I'm eating the past couple of days.  At my youngest brother's recommendation, I watched a documentary on Netflix called "Hungry for Change."  WOW!  It was quite an eye opener.  Of course, I realize that some of the viewpoints are slanted because of those who produced the movie, but a lot of the stuff they talked about with regard to the chemicals in our foods and drinks is spot on.  I'm trying to move away from processed foods, but it's very hard when you have come to rely on certain convenience foods.  I know this is not something that is going to come to me instantly.  It's something that I will have to work on and make the changes as we go. 

So thinking about what I've eaten in the last couple of days, if you look at the bottom line, I was under my calorie goal, I had a good calorie burn from exercise, and it appears that I should experience weight loss when I weigh in on Saturday.  However, looking at the nutritional value of the foods....well, I could have done better.  This morning, for instance, instead of the eggs, bacon, and apple that I normally have (don't hate on my bacon - it's low sodium turkey bacon and I love it), for some stupid reason, I grabbed a package of S'mores Poptarts and ate both of them.  I don't really care for Poptarts of any flavor.  And after eating them, I did not feel that I'd done myself any favors. 

However, I still worked those calories into my day and made them fit.  Does that mean I did a good thing since I was under my goal?  Numbers-wise, yes.  Health-wise, no.  I want to lose weight, don't get me wrong, and the "eating less, moving more" idea will help.  But I also want to gain optimal health, and eating those types of processed foods - even if they fit into my calorie budget - just isn't going to work.  I'm not going into this with the idea that certain foods are off limits, though, because that is the easiest way to make myself crave something.  The forbidden foods are usually the most desirable.  I just need to limit my intake of those foods.  With regard to the Poptarts, that's probably the one time this year I will eat something like that because it's not one of my favorite foods.

One step at a time!

And we're off...

Today was off to a great start!  Duke and I took a big walk early this afternoon before the 3-5 inches of snow we're supposed to get hit.  We did the "Rushville Loop" which is a loop through town that is supposed to be 3 miles.  I added just a little bit extra to it, but we still ended up doing 4 miles.  Yay!

I'm not going to lie.  There were times during the walk that I wanted to break down and call Mike to come get us.  My knee was hurting pretty bad.  But I hate, hate, hate to be a quitter, so I kept going.  It was very exciting when we finally turned onto our street. 

It was cold, but not unbearably so.  I was sweating in my hoodie and t-shirt.  I also had one of those face cover things - not a balaclava, but one of those that just covers the neck and lower face, my gloves, and a headband/ear cover thing.  My hair was soaked when I got home.  Mike thought I should wear my coat, too, but I knew it would be too much.  Glad I didn't listen to him! 

Since today is January 1, I figured I should weigh in and see where I am.  The scale said I was 237.0 this morning.  I'm up 12 lbs from my lowest weight of 225 that I hit in August.  I'm going to try to get as close to 230 as I can by the end of January.  With hard work and determination, I should be able to do it.  My usual weigh ins from here on out will be Saturday mornings. 

We are supposed to go back to work tomorrow, but I'm sort of hoping we are closed due to the snow storm.  I'd love one more day off.  But on the other hand, I'm looking forward to getting back to a routine.  I'm also excited at the prospect of going back to the Rec so I can workout with my friend.  She and I have some similar goals, I think, and it's good to have a buddy that will keep me accountable.  We're both determined to make 2014 OUR year of being awesome!