Sunday, February 23, 2014

Another weekly update...

This week the scales were a bit kinder to me, showing a 2 lb loss.  It's not what I had hoped for, but I'll take it. 

Starting out this week, I had to miss our 2nd Biggest Loser meeting because of the ice/snow storm on Monday.  I was worried that I would be disqualified, but I emailed the lady in charge and she assured me that I would not be, as this was a legitimate reason to not be able to attend.  If I lived right in Macomb, I would have been there. 

On Tuesday, I met with Trainer Justin for my first actual workout with him.  It was everything I had hoped for!  We started with 20 minutes on the elliptical, which I abhor.  I do it because it's one of the cardio machines that doesn't hurt my knee too bad, but I hate my time on it.  He and I talked while I did it, so it made the time fly by.  I need to have someone chat with me every time I have to use that hated machine! 

Next we headed over to the training room for some back squats.  I hadn't done those in a while, so I wasn't sure how it would go, but I gave it a try.  I did some pretty light weights, but I could feel it in my knee a bit, so I didn't want to push it.  After that, we did some straight-leg deadlifts, which were fun, but I can definitely do heavier than whatever I was doing. 

We then had to go downstairs to the weight room for some leg extensions and hip abductors and adductors.  The whole time he was really pushing me, which is what I love.  He had his phone out to use the timer and made sure I only took 45 seconds to 1 minute rest between sets.  Sometimes I sit and daydream and take a little longer, so it was good to have someone that stayed on top of that and kept me focused. 

He offered to stretch with me or let me finish with some more cardio on the bike.  I chose the bike.  I hate stretching.  I don't know why, but I absolutely abhor it.  I know it would help and it's good for me and blah, blah, blah...but I still don't like it. 

By the time I finished, I was soaked in sweat (LOVE) and my Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor showed that I had burned a little over 960 calories in 90 minutes.  YES! 

On Wednesday, I saw Jennifer, my HyVee dietitian.  I told her about the gain I had last week, how it made me feel, etc.  She reviewed my food journal and she could not figure out why I would have gained.  She said that everything looked good, I was getting a good balance, and there was no reason why I should have gained.  I felt good, knowing that she thought my food was pretty good.  However that still doesn't explain why I'm not losing weight!

We talked about making sure I get enough water, so I made a mental goal for myself to drink at least ONE of my Casey's 33 oz bottles of water before I leave work every day.  So far, so good.  We also talked about my thyroid and how it may be contributing to this problem.  My endocrinologist lowered my dosage of my meds in August.  Since then, I've fought tooth and nail to lose and my weight has crept up.  So we agreed that I should call and request some labs to be sure I'm in the therapeutic range.  If I'm not, I can eat nothing but lettuce and would probably not lose because my metabolism has almost ground to a halt.  It's a very frustrating disease to have.  However, if I have to suffer from a disease this one is much better than others.

I called my endo's office and requested lab work to be done.  I was fully prepared with my arguments, reasons, and logic because I expected the resistance that I've found with other doctors in the past.  Much to my surprise and delight, they immediately agreed to do the labs and asked to what facility I wanted the orders faxed.  They called me back 2 hours later to let me know the orders had been faxed and I could go get it done any time I wanted.  I did, and now I'm expecting a call tomorrow (Monday) with the results.  If it shows I'm out of range, then we'll adjust meds and carry on.  It will take a while for my body to adjust to the new dosage, so I don't expect any immediate results. 

If my labs are fine, then when I meet with Jennifer again on Wednesday, we'll have to explore limiting my carbs at each meal to a certain number of grams.  I do not want to do that.  If I am presented with a situation/diet plan/eating plan - whatever - where I know "I can't have that," then guess what?  I WANT TO HAVE THAT!  I don't like the restricted diets and I mentally fight them every step of the way.  It takes me back to when I tried to follow the Paleo way of eating, where you cannot have breads/pastas/etc.  Knowing that I "couldn't" have them made me want them more.  It was all I could think about and it drove me nuts.  I do NOT want to live the rest of my life like that.  It works for some, and that's fantastic for you.  However, that's not how I wish to live.  Life's too short to be miserable like that. 

I'm hoping I just need a tweak in my meds and all will be well.  I hope I find out tomorrow.  Or at least by Tuesday!

On Thursday I was sick and had to miss my training session.  I was so disappointed, but there was no way I could have worked out even if my life depended on it.  I'm still fighting that sickness off and on, and I'm ready for it to go away.  One minute I feel fine, and then suddenly I'm chilling and have a temp.  Right now I feel great, but last night before I went to bed, I looked like I had the worst allergies ever.  My eyes were red and watery and I couldn't stop sneezing and I felt like dirt.  It's been like this since Wednesday, actually. 

I can't wait to hit the gym tomorrow and get a good workout because yesterday I got some new running shoes!  I've needed some but did not have the time or energy to go to Springfield to find some shoes.  I've been fitted before and I know I have a neutral gait, but the choices are so overwhelming that I just put off finding some.  I decided to try J C Penney's in Macomb, so I checked out their selection online.  They had some Asics that looked attractive and were inexpensive (for running shoes).  I did some research and they are for people with a neutral gait (ME!) and for low-mileage runners (ME!).  Since I'm not able to actually RUN right now, I thought they were perfect.  So I went and tried them on and they were good.  I hate other shoes, but I love running shoes. 

So that was my week-in-review!  Right now I'm putting off a paper that I have to write and a website I need to review/write about.  I guess I'd better get my butt in gear because time waits for no one.

Oh, I just wanted to add - one of the things that has been incredibly helpful for me to stay on track and make my food journals look so good for Jennifer is that I've planned all of my meals.  I used to do it faithfully, but then got lazy.  So I've been doing that for the last 3 weeks and it's been a HUGE help.  If you are in this battle with me, start planning meals if you aren't already!  If you already know that on Wednesday, you're having baked chicken, salad, and green beans - then you don't have to worry about figuring it out at 6:30 on Wednesday night when everyone is hangry (hungry+angry because they are hungry) and fall to the temptation of getting take out or fixing something that is fast, but less-than-healthy. 

AND - I was almost moved to tears on Wednesday afternoon when my husband sent me an email and told me he wanted to get on board with me more than he has been.  He said he stepped on the scale and didn't like the number that it showed, and he wants to change that.  I cannot fully convey how happy and excited I was to see those words from him.  He's always been supportive of me, but having him take this journey with me is even better.  I'm just going to let him do his thing at his own pace and be there to cheer him on.  He knows that if he wants more help, I'm here. 

How has your week been?  Is your family supportive of your healthy journey?  How do you deal with those that aren't?  Are you able to keep them out of your life?  Do you have a good support system in place?  I hope you all do.  It makes a huge difference!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Let's Play Catch Up!

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks.  I had the intention but time just got away from me.  To catch you all up, here we go...

Last Saturday, my weight stayed exactly the same as it has for the previous two weeks.  Blah.  But always better than a gain!  My workouts hadn't been there because I was not able to go to the gym due to the weather and/or school closures. 

I was supposed to have met with my HyVee dietitian on Wednesday, February 5, but she canceled due to the blowing/drifting snow.  We rescheduled for Wednesday, February 12.

On Monday, February 10, I met with my Biggest Loser group for the first time.  It was kind of hard because the meeting wasn't until 7:30p.  I usually get done working out around 6:30 or so and head home, so I had to stick around for another hour, and then attend the meeting.  It made for a VERY exhausting day, and I will have those for the next several weeks.  BUT - I am ready to make that sacrifice.  I have chosen to do so to better my health for myself and my loved ones.  I'm not complaining.

Our first meeting consisted of going over the "rules" and what we could expect.  Basically, if we miss a Monday meeting, we are disqualified.  That kind of worries me, but hopefully the weather will cooperate and I won't have to choose between my health goals and my safety (safety will always win).  We were assigned a personal trainer and will meet with him twice a week.  There is also a nutrition coach that we will meet with 3x throughout the competition.  I did ask her if I should suspend my HyVee meetings for the duration, but she encouraged me to continue.  I didn't want conflicting info, but she said since she is still a student, she would only support what HyVee lady (Jennifer) tells me.  Some Mondays we will have group exercise, sometimes we will have speakers.  Whoever loses the most percentage of weight, inches, etc. will be crowned the winner, with prizes still being determined.  While my competitive side wants to win, my logical side is in this more for the experience, support, and knowledge I can gain.  This is set up for students, and although I AM a student, I'm sure they would prefer a full-time student wins.  That doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and LET them win, though!  haha

On Tuesday, I met with my trainer, Justin, for the first time for my fitness assessment.  First, I had to go get weighed.  Then he took my blood pressure in both arms (it was good), my resting pulse, measurements, etc.  Then I did a 3 minute step test.  I was worried my knee wouldn't let me do it, but it was fine.  He played a beat on a metronome and I just had to step, step, step, step with each beat.  Very easy, but I was a little out of breath by the end.  He then took my elevated pulse.  Next, I laid on a mat and had to do crunches.  My fingers had to start at one piece of tape on the mat, and when I "crunched" my fingers had to touch another piece of tape.  I had to do those until I couldn't any longer.  I started and kept going...and going...and going...until he finally told me to stop.  I had done 60.  He consulted a chart was amazed/impressed.  He said it only went up to 40, so I was "off the charts."  I could tell he didn't expect that out of a overweight, middle-aged mom.  HA! 

I wasn't done surprising him, though.  The final part of the assessment was doing push ups.  I had to do as many as I could in 1 minute.  I knew I wouldn't be so great at this because I've lost so much upper body strength.  I was able to do 20.  He consulted his chart and announced that that was "above average."  He was pleased/surprised with that, too.

I had a couple more surprises for him though.  We talked about my goals and what I liked to do in the gym.  He was very excited when I told him that the deadlift was my very favorite lift in the world.  He was also happy to know that I had experience with lots of different weight lifting techniques/moves, which gives him more time to WORK me, than to have to teach me how to do things.  We discussed the knee issues and I promised him that if something hurt in a bad way, I would tell him and not try to play the hero.  We will be meeting on Tuesdays/Thursdays for my workouts.  I can't wait!

Wednesday was Lincoln's birthday and the University was closed.  I didn't want to waste my day off doing nothing, so I went to Macomb any way and met with Jennifer, did a workout, and met with Emily, the nutrition coach.  I turned in a 2-week food diary to Jennifer and she was overall pleased with what I'm eating.  She had a few suggestions for me to try and I've done exactly what she's asked.  One of them was cutting down my Diet Dew consumption.  I have one in the morning and one in the evening.  My other drinks are water.  So we cut the evening Dew.  Because I still wanted a carbonated drink, she showed me some sparkling waters.  I tried them and they weren't bad.  I expressed a concern about switching one chemical-laden drink for another, but she reassured me that the sparkling water was ok, and the chemicals in it were better than in Dew.  Eventually, perhaps I will completely rid myself of soda.  We shall see.

Another suggestion was to replace some of my whole eggs that I have for breakfast with egg substitute.  I've done it, but I'm not entirely embracing it yet.  We also talked about snacks and how it IS ok to have a healthy snack if I am hungry between meals.  I have plenty of ammo in my desk/fridge at work, so I'm good to go there.  I just need to take the time to actually EAT them. 

I had also taken the time to plan out all of our evening meals this week.  Something I've gotten lazy about doing.  All in all, last week I worked really hard in the gym and in the kitchen.  I was really excited to step on the scale yesterday morning to see how much all of this work had paid off.  I was absolutely crushed to see I had gained 3 pounds.  I'm not going to lie, I cried.  My spirit was broken and I felt so betrayed by my body.  I did what I was supposed to do and it didn't work.  My inner spoiled child wanted to throw in the towel, eat whatever I wanted and gain a bunch of weight, and then go have gastric bypass (I would qualify if my BMI were a little higher - right now I do not qualify because I have no co-existing conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.).  Thankfully, my inner adult did not allow that to happen.  I sent a couple of rant emails to my trusted friends, and talked to my husband about it.  He was as puzzled as me.  We have no idea, but I'm going to continue putting one foot in front of the other and continuing on my journey.  Yesterday was a dark day, I'll admit, but it's going to be ok. 

I was the weight recorder for our TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) group in town for 11 years, and I would always tell the people I weighed to not let that number define them or control their emotions.  I needed to listen to my own advice yesterday, but it's very hard when you feel like you've done everything right and you're met with failure.  And it's super frustrating knowing that there are people who can say, "I quit drinking Pepsi for a week and I lost 10 lbs!"  or "I worked out for 10 minutes this week, ate at Burger King every day, and I still lost 5 lbs!"  Ughhhhhh...I want to punch those people.  I'm sorry, but I do!  By just typing the words "Pepsi" and "Burger King" I probably gained 6 lbs. 

This will be another busy week with Biggest Loser meeting tomorrow night, training on Tuesday and Thursday, plus regular workouts on the other days, and somewhere in there I need to do homework.  It will be worth it in the end.  I'M READY!

Monday, February 3, 2014

An Answer to My Questions -- Already!

Late last night I was struck with inspiration to post my post of questions.  They were all good, valid questions and ones that I need to be asking myself on this journey. 

This morning, I emailed a friend to show her how I'm progressing on my journey, and felt rather proud, thinking I was really showing some personal growth by asking myself these questions.  She, in turn, emailed me back with some questions of her own for me:

What if you start living the life you want to live rather than just dreaming about it?
 
What if you start liking the fact that you are eating healthy and the way it makes you feel?
 
What if you start believing in yourself as much as those around you do?
 
What if you start today?

Uh, what?  T-t-t-today?  But...but...but...I have the questions...to think about...for a while... I don't have on the right pants.  My hair is all wrong.  I need new shoes.  My socks are too tight.  My underwear feel funny.  When I move my elbow like this, it hurts.  It's supposed to snow.  The sun is too bright.  It's too cold.  There are too many people at the gym and they get on my nerves with all their exercising!  It's not the 1st of the month.  It's not the RIGHT Monday.  The moon is not in the right phase.  My cat might get a hairball.  My dog "killed" his chew toy and we're all very upset. 

Oh, wait.  Those all sound like excuses, don't they?  And dumb ones at that. 

So I had a quick review of why I CAN start today:
 - I had already eaten a healthy breakfast.
 - I had already prepared and brought with me a healthy lunch.
 - I had already stocked my desk/office with healthy snacks, in case I got hungry.
 - I had already packed my gym bag, it was in my car, and I was planning to workout after work.
 - I just had to email my husband and inform him that I would have a healthy dinner, and he and the boys could have what I have or they could forage for themselves.

Hey... I CAN START TODAY!

And so I did.  Day One is now done.  I'll be ready for Day Two tomorrow.  And I'll just keep taking this week one day at a time. 

What if YOU start today, if you haven't already?  And I mean really, really start and try super hard.  Are you in?  Let's see what we can do!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Questions, questions, questions

Dear Angie:

I have some questions for you and I want you to really, really think about them. 

What if you gave this journey your all? 
What if you worked as hard at all aspects of it as you do in the gym? 
What if you put a ton of effort into planning your meals and snacks? 
What if you started to learn to cook other foods? 
What if you tried something new? 
What if you didn't like it? 
What if you did?
What if you stopped wasting time on Facebook and Reddit? 
What if you missed a post or two or even more? 
Would the world continue to spin? 
Would your life be worse? 
Could it be better?

What if you really tried as hard as you could?
What if you failed?
What if you succeeded?
How would you feel if you were more healthy?
What could go wrong?
What could go right?
What if it was as awesome as you imagine and you've been missing it all this time?
What if a healthy lifestyle was the best thing that ever happened to you?
What if you could look in a mirror and be proud of what you see instead of ashamed?
What if you could walk into a room and not immediately check to see if you are the biggest?
What if you actually looked like you spent time in the gym?
What if you could be a runner?
What if you could wear the cute clothes on the "regular" side of the store?
What if you could wow your high school friends with some incredible results?
What if you made your family proud of you?
What if you inspired them to make a change?
What if you started to enjoy going out instead of hiding at home?
What if you made this work and it changed your life for the better?
What if you made all of your hopes and dreams come true?

What are you waiting for?

Love,
me

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Dietitian Review and Weigh In

I was happy to step on the scales this morning and record a loss of 1 lb.  This is really great in light of the fact that I have not set foot in the gym at all this week.  On Monday, the University was closed due to ridiculous cold.  Tuesday I was sick and had a doctor's appointment.  Wednesday, I had my appointment with the dietitian.  Thursday I was still sick (sinus infection...the pressure makes my head feel like it's going to explode), and Friday I was sent home by my office girls because it was snowing and was supposed to get bad.  But I still managed to drop a pound!  YAY!

On Tuesday, as I said, I had an appointment with my doctor to make sure I was clear to participate in the Biggest Loser program.  He gave me two thumbs up, without question.  My blood pressure was excellent and he said my heart and lungs sounded fantastic.  My only issue was the stupid sinus infection, which I've kind of been fighting off and on since January 1.  I've been on an antibiotic since Tuesday and I'm STILL waiting for it to kick in. 

Wednesday I finally got to meet with the HyVee dietitian, Jennifer.  I felt like I was talking to a friend.  We spent about 20 minutes talking about what I've tried in the past, what I'm currently doing, and what I want to do.  She took me around the store for about 30+ minutes and showed me some different products and gave me ideas on how to combine them for meals.  I thought she would be pushing veggies, veggies, veggies, but she really didn't.  She showed me some frozen meals, which really surprised me because I've always been told to stay away from the frozen meals because of the sodium content.  When I questioned that, she said the particular ones she showed me met the acceptable levels for sodium.  I wish I could remember which brand, but I don't.  If I see them, I'll know them!  When I got home, I thought that I should have taken my phone with me and taken pics of all the foods.  That would have been helpful!  Hindsight...

So my assignment for this week is to keep a food journal in writing.  I will turn it in to her next Wednesday (unless we have the massive snow that they are predicting...) and we'll go over what I ate.  She will comment on what can be improved and what is going well.  And from there, we'll make small changes each week or two weeks until I'm heading down the right path.  I like that.  I did not want someone to hand me a list of foods and say, "Here.  Eat this stuff, and don't eat anything else and you're cured."  No, that does not work.  I've been through that before. 

Since this is the 1st of February, I should review some of my stats for January.  I created a spreadsheet to track weight and miles (bike, elliptical, walking).  According to said spreadsheet, I have gained 2 lbs since January 1**.  That is not very impressive.  I have walked/biked/ellipticaled 92.82 miles.  I was really hoping to hit 100, but I'm not going to stress it.  It would have easily happened had I been able to get to the gym this week. 

Goals for February:
  • Lose 5 lbs
  • Run/Walk/Elliptical 100 miles
  • Kick butt in the Biggest Loser program
  • Start working on getting rid of Diet Mt Dew
  • Try ONE new recipe or ONE new veggie
What are your goals for this month?  Writing down your goals has been shown to be an effective step in helping to reach them!  Feel free to share your goals in the comments, on Facebook, or just write them down in a special notebook.  We can do anything we put our minds to. 

**Edited:  I just checked my stats again.  I did NOT gain 2 lbs in January.  I stayed the same.  My weight at the beginning of the month was the same as my weight this morning.  Oops!  I like that a little better...but not much.