Today was our final Biggest Loser meeting at the Rec Center. The girl that won was the one that I figured would win. She lost 16 lbs total, which is awesome for 7 weeks. I can't remember what the 2nd place girl did. I came in 3rd by default because no one else was there. I lost 3 lbs and 3 inches. Rather disappointing results for seven weeks of busting my butt and working hard, but I'm not complaining.
One of my prizes was a certificate for a training plan, which I plan to "cash in" as soon as possible. They also asked if we would be interested in participating again if they should offer it, and I definitely am. They are thinking of doing it in groups of 4, but I'm not exactly sure how that would work. Still interested! Working with the trainer was a great way for me to stay accountable and to stay motivated. The only thing I said that should be changed was the lateness of the meetings. I did not care for the 7:30 p.m. meeting time as that made for a really long day. Other than that, it was a great experience and well worth the $30 I paid to participate.
In other news, I lost 0.2 lbs this week. It's a loss but so small that I'm not even really counting it. I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling mentally with this lack of results. I cannot put into words how it feels to know you've followed the eating plan to perfection, worked your butt off to the point that your body hurts all the time....and you get nothing in return, or even worse, you see a gain. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but after 4 solid months of this struggle, it's getting really challenging to do. I keep saying I won't give up, but I am truly feeling discouraged.
Until next week,
angie
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Happy...and a little disappointed
Ok, let's get to the good stuff first! I stepped on the scale yesterday and was delighted to be greeted with a loss of 1.5 lbs this week. Oh yeah! Hopefully my slightly dyslexic body is starting to get this whole "weight loss" idea and is finally catching on. We can only hope.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Frustration
I have stayed off the scales all week, as Jennifer suggested. I've also worked hard to stay in the 1500-1600 calorie range she suggested. I've done really well with both goals, so I wasn't sure what the scale would show today. I've been working out hard, burning lots of calories, following the training plan that my trainer left me while he was gone for Spring Break. I've done everything right, followed all the rules, and worked really hard. I am proud of my efforts.
So what did the scale show me this morning?
A gain of 3.5 lbs.
Seriously?!?!?!?
I really don't get this and I don't know what is going on. I KNOW I didn't consume 12,000+ calories and it's not a gain of fat. But why does this keep happening? I want to weep with frustration, but that won't accomplish anything. I don't want to cut my calories further because I don't think that will help and I'm able to be comfortable without being hungry at this level.
So the plan is to keep doing what I'm doing. Work harder when I can, get rest, and keep making good food choices. I will not give up, even though the frustration is overwhelming at times. This has been happening for 2 1/2 months now. I don't know how long it will take my body to get the message, but it has to sink in sometime. I didn't think I was a slow learner, but apparently I am!
Have you ever thought of throwing in the towel? What stopped you? If you did, what got you going again? And if you aren't going again yet, are you ready?
So what did the scale show me this morning?
A gain of 3.5 lbs.
Seriously?!?!?!?
I really don't get this and I don't know what is going on. I KNOW I didn't consume 12,000+ calories and it's not a gain of fat. But why does this keep happening? I want to weep with frustration, but that won't accomplish anything. I don't want to cut my calories further because I don't think that will help and I'm able to be comfortable without being hungry at this level.
So the plan is to keep doing what I'm doing. Work harder when I can, get rest, and keep making good food choices. I will not give up, even though the frustration is overwhelming at times. This has been happening for 2 1/2 months now. I don't know how long it will take my body to get the message, but it has to sink in sometime. I didn't think I was a slow learner, but apparently I am!
Have you ever thought of throwing in the towel? What stopped you? If you did, what got you going again? And if you aren't going again yet, are you ready?
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Emotional Week
This week was full of ups and downs. It started with the scales inexplicably climbing up, up, up until I had gained almost 4 lbs. There was NO logical reason for this. I was exercising, drinking my water, staying in my calorie range, and eating healthy food. So why the gain? No clue, but it was maddening, disheartening, depressing, and made me incredibly sad. Especially when people who weren't even trying to lose weight reported to me that they had lost weight. Seriously?!?!
I decided that apparently the only way for me to possibly lose weight was to have bariatric surgery. I went to the Memorial Medical Center's website and signed up. Well, it's not really that easy...first you have to sign up for pre-screening. I got denied. I don't weigh enough to qualify for surgery, and I have no co-existing conditions (diabetes/pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) that qualify me. So that was kind of a kick in the teeth, too!
On Wednesday, I met with Jennifer, mypsychotherapist dietitian. It was a very emotional meeting, and we talked for an hour. She has no explanation for the gain either (I was up 3 lbs on her scale from last week's weight). I am doing everything that I should be doing. Mathematically speaking, I should be losing. Reality, however, seems to have other ideas. After talking with her my goals for the week were to stay off the scales. They are causing more problems than anything and ruining my day. I will only weigh on Saturday, my regular day, and on Wednesday with Jennifer. I also adjusted my calories down just a smidge to 1500-1600, no more than 1600 and no less than 1500. And then I am going to keep doing what I'm doing.
Another thing we talked about was my worry about going to dinner on Saturday night with some family and friends. We were going to eat at my mother-in-law's house, and I knew we'd be ordering pizza. I didn't want that meal to undo everything, but I also wanted to not be all "special" and not be able to eat what everyone else was eating. This is going to come up in life from time to time and I need to deal with it. We decided that I would take a large chef salad with me and I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza. I did exactly that and it was fine. I did also "splurge" and have 1/2 cheese breadstick as well, but I was still under my 1600 calories for the day! My MIL surprised me when she brought out some cookies, but I managed to stay out of those. Now had we eaten at the restaurant, I would have gotten a big salad bar and had 1 slice. It would still work!
So I had to wait for Saturday to weigh in and see how I was doing. I was worried, but I managed to get back down to where I was last Saturday. I didn't exactly lose if we're going from Saturday to Saturday, but from Tuesday to Saturday, I lost almost 4 lbs. I'm good with that.
Tomorrow starts spring break at work and for me in my classes. This year I have no assignments hanging over my head that are due next week. My next assignments aren't due until the week after break, so I can enjoy myself. My Biggest Loser trainer sent me a really nice email with some workouts for this week, and he complimented my work ethic and said I was working super-hard and he's really happy with that. That was nice to read!
Today was finally a nice day so Duke and I went for a 2 mile walk. He loved it since he hasn't had a big walk like that for a long time. Tomorrow and Tuesday are supposed to be in the high 50s or low 60s, but then they are calling for some blasted snow again! GRRR! I've had enough snow and cold. I'm ready for spring, just like everyone else in this part of the country.
Do you have a scale addiction? Were you able to break it? Do you let the number on the scale ruin your day?
I decided that apparently the only way for me to possibly lose weight was to have bariatric surgery. I went to the Memorial Medical Center's website and signed up. Well, it's not really that easy...first you have to sign up for pre-screening. I got denied. I don't weigh enough to qualify for surgery, and I have no co-existing conditions (diabetes/pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) that qualify me. So that was kind of a kick in the teeth, too!
On Wednesday, I met with Jennifer, my
Another thing we talked about was my worry about going to dinner on Saturday night with some family and friends. We were going to eat at my mother-in-law's house, and I knew we'd be ordering pizza. I didn't want that meal to undo everything, but I also wanted to not be all "special" and not be able to eat what everyone else was eating. This is going to come up in life from time to time and I need to deal with it. We decided that I would take a large chef salad with me and I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza. I did exactly that and it was fine. I did also "splurge" and have 1/2 cheese breadstick as well, but I was still under my 1600 calories for the day! My MIL surprised me when she brought out some cookies, but I managed to stay out of those. Now had we eaten at the restaurant, I would have gotten a big salad bar and had 1 slice. It would still work!
So I had to wait for Saturday to weigh in and see how I was doing. I was worried, but I managed to get back down to where I was last Saturday. I didn't exactly lose if we're going from Saturday to Saturday, but from Tuesday to Saturday, I lost almost 4 lbs. I'm good with that.
Tomorrow starts spring break at work and for me in my classes. This year I have no assignments hanging over my head that are due next week. My next assignments aren't due until the week after break, so I can enjoy myself. My Biggest Loser trainer sent me a really nice email with some workouts for this week, and he complimented my work ethic and said I was working super-hard and he's really happy with that. That was nice to read!
Today was finally a nice day so Duke and I went for a 2 mile walk. He loved it since he hasn't had a big walk like that for a long time. Tomorrow and Tuesday are supposed to be in the high 50s or low 60s, but then they are calling for some blasted snow again! GRRR! I've had enough snow and cold. I'm ready for spring, just like everyone else in this part of the country.
Do you have a scale addiction? Were you able to break it? Do you let the number on the scale ruin your day?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Learning more about myself...
I think my HyVee dietitian, Jennifer, is more of a psychologist/counselor than anything. We don't just talk about what to eat/what not to eat, but we also discuss attitudes/beliefs/feelings toward food. One of the things I learned this week is that I have to work on my beliefs toward fast food/restaurant food.
It started with a simple comment about me worrying about a meal that Mike and I had at Arby's. It wasn't the worst food I could have chosen, but it certainly wasn't the most healthy. We started talking about how I felt about eating out and through a series of thought-provoking questions, I discovered I tend to elevate restaurant eating in my mind.
Growing up as one of 4 children, we didn't spend a lot of time at restaurants. Plus that just wasn't how it was done back then. To get to go to McDonald's was something very special. As a result, I still tend to think of these visits as very special and I want to get the most food out of the visit as possible. Plus I like a good "value."
She reassured me that my way of thinking is not bad, it just is how I think. I need to work on re-directing those thoughts and changing my views so that restaurants are just other places to get food and it doesn't have to be a gorge-fest. I have an assignment to complete for that in order to help her help me start to make that shift.
I'm very pleased with the money I've invested in these visits. It is NOT what I expected at all. If you live near Macomb, IL, and you want/need help with eating, I would strongly recommend that you invest in yourself and visit Jennifer. The program I am doing is $60 for 10 visits. The first visit is free, so you actually get 11 visits. At first, I wondered what on earth we were going to talk about for so many visits and now I wonder if it will be enough! She is very nice and easy to talk to, she does not make you feel judged for what you eat/how much you eat/what you don't eat. You are who you are and your life experiences have shaped you into that person. It is what it is, and she completely embraces that. Yet she will help you work on changing your thought processes so that you can live a better, HEALTHIER life.
Overall she is quite pleased with what I've been eating. I was quite proud of myself this past Tuesday for taking my own lunch to a lunch-time meeting where pizza was provided for us. I did not even want to go to the meeting but it was a very important one, so I put on my Big Girl Pants and went with the food I had prepared at home. There were about a dozen men there and one other woman. No one blinked an eye, said a word, or even tried to tempt me with pizza. Yes, I still felt pretty self-conscious, but I know I was making the best decision for ME and what the other people thought didn't matter. And I lived to tell the tale.
Monday night's Biggest Loser meeting was a counselor from the campus counseling center who talked to us about emotional eating. I am starting to become aware of when I am feeling stressed and want to eat everything. I have a few coping mechanisms in place, which involve texting or calling a few friends who I can count on to talk me down. The girl who is our nutrition coach for the contest has even agreed to be one of those people for me. I can also remove myself from the situation, such as when standing in the Walmart checkout line, faced that wall of convenient candy bars that are screaming my name. If there's no rush, I can exit the checkout and walk around the store, particularly in the ladies clothing area, and look at the stuff that I'd like to be able to wear.
It was somewhat of an interesting talk. Most of the other 4 girls really didn't have much to contribute, so it almost felt like I was having a very public counseling session with the woman about my disordered eating habits. She tried her best to engage the other girls, but for whatever reason, they were very reluctant to open up. Of course, I'm much older than they are with more life experience, and I don't give a fig what they think of me. They are within their peer group, so they may have been more self-conscious. Regardless, I am trying to get as much as I possibly can out of this experience. If I have to share embarrassing stories, so be it. I will very likely never encounter these girls again. And if I do, so what? It's nothing I wouldn't and haven't shared here! LOL
And now...the weekly weigh in! According to the scales, I lost 2.5 lbs this week. Yay! It's about time I see that scale moving in that direction. Hopefully it will continue.
Does anyone else have a problem with fast food/restaurant food? Do you feel like you have to get as much food for your dollar as you can, or am I the only one?
It started with a simple comment about me worrying about a meal that Mike and I had at Arby's. It wasn't the worst food I could have chosen, but it certainly wasn't the most healthy. We started talking about how I felt about eating out and through a series of thought-provoking questions, I discovered I tend to elevate restaurant eating in my mind.
Growing up as one of 4 children, we didn't spend a lot of time at restaurants. Plus that just wasn't how it was done back then. To get to go to McDonald's was something very special. As a result, I still tend to think of these visits as very special and I want to get the most food out of the visit as possible. Plus I like a good "value."
She reassured me that my way of thinking is not bad, it just is how I think. I need to work on re-directing those thoughts and changing my views so that restaurants are just other places to get food and it doesn't have to be a gorge-fest. I have an assignment to complete for that in order to help her help me start to make that shift.
I'm very pleased with the money I've invested in these visits. It is NOT what I expected at all. If you live near Macomb, IL, and you want/need help with eating, I would strongly recommend that you invest in yourself and visit Jennifer. The program I am doing is $60 for 10 visits. The first visit is free, so you actually get 11 visits. At first, I wondered what on earth we were going to talk about for so many visits and now I wonder if it will be enough! She is very nice and easy to talk to, she does not make you feel judged for what you eat/how much you eat/what you don't eat. You are who you are and your life experiences have shaped you into that person. It is what it is, and she completely embraces that. Yet she will help you work on changing your thought processes so that you can live a better, HEALTHIER life.
Overall she is quite pleased with what I've been eating. I was quite proud of myself this past Tuesday for taking my own lunch to a lunch-time meeting where pizza was provided for us. I did not even want to go to the meeting but it was a very important one, so I put on my Big Girl Pants and went with the food I had prepared at home. There were about a dozen men there and one other woman. No one blinked an eye, said a word, or even tried to tempt me with pizza. Yes, I still felt pretty self-conscious, but I know I was making the best decision for ME and what the other people thought didn't matter. And I lived to tell the tale.
Monday night's Biggest Loser meeting was a counselor from the campus counseling center who talked to us about emotional eating. I am starting to become aware of when I am feeling stressed and want to eat everything. I have a few coping mechanisms in place, which involve texting or calling a few friends who I can count on to talk me down. The girl who is our nutrition coach for the contest has even agreed to be one of those people for me. I can also remove myself from the situation, such as when standing in the Walmart checkout line, faced that wall of convenient candy bars that are screaming my name. If there's no rush, I can exit the checkout and walk around the store, particularly in the ladies clothing area, and look at the stuff that I'd like to be able to wear.
It was somewhat of an interesting talk. Most of the other 4 girls really didn't have much to contribute, so it almost felt like I was having a very public counseling session with the woman about my disordered eating habits. She tried her best to engage the other girls, but for whatever reason, they were very reluctant to open up. Of course, I'm much older than they are with more life experience, and I don't give a fig what they think of me. They are within their peer group, so they may have been more self-conscious. Regardless, I am trying to get as much as I possibly can out of this experience. If I have to share embarrassing stories, so be it. I will very likely never encounter these girls again. And if I do, so what? It's nothing I wouldn't and haven't shared here! LOL
And now...the weekly weigh in! According to the scales, I lost 2.5 lbs this week. Yay! It's about time I see that scale moving in that direction. Hopefully it will continue.
Does anyone else have a problem with fast food/restaurant food? Do you feel like you have to get as much food for your dollar as you can, or am I the only one?
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