After a great deal of research and discussion, I made the decision this week to begin the process for weight loss surgery. This was not an easy decision by any means. This is not something I rushed into, either. This is not something that everyone is going to agree with, however, this is something I feel is right for me.
I have been trying to lose weight for many years, with minimal success. I've tried every diet under the sun, too. I can exercise until the cows come home, but this weight just will not come off now. Age? Metabolism? I don't know but I'm tired of getting no results.
Weight loss surgery is a TOOL. It is a very powerful, irreversible tool. There will be work to be done leading up to the surgery, and there will be work to be done every single day after the surgery. It is not a magic fix. They don't do the surgery and then I can eat whatever I want and lose, lose, lose. I still have to eat healthy and exercise. That will never stop. There will never come a day when I can say, "I am done." and then start eating junk. I will have good days and I will have bad days, just like everyone else. This will not make my marriage perfect, my job perfect, my kids perfect, or any other aspect of my life perfect. I will still have disagreements with my husband. Things at work will stress me out. My kids will continue to make me nuts. My life will still be just as crazy at is it now, but I will be seeing success on the scale if I'm doing the work.
This will not be a fast process, either, and I may not even be approved by the doctor. I have to see a team, similar to that which I worked with at the weight loss clinic. I will have to meet with a nurse practitioner, nutritionist, physical therapist, and psychologist. There will be classes to take and support groups to attend. I plan to continue to research and read as much as I can about this. I've found some great forums online and am currently lurking, reading. I have a friend who just had the surgery and I'm talking to her to gain her fresh perspective, and a friend who had the surgery 5 1/2 years ago and has kept a great deal of weight off. I have different questions for each of these ladies and they are kind enough to share their experiences with me.
If you don't agree with my decision, that's ok. I'm the one that has to live with it, not you, so it's ok. Only my husband knows exactly what I've been going through because he's watched me suffer, struggle, and he's been the one to wipe up my tears when I step on the scale and have to face a gain when there should be a loss. He knows and he supports this decision. As my biggest supporter and best friend, his support is the only one I really need.
I've submitted the paperwork to the Bariatric Center at Memorial Hospital in Springfield and I'm just waiting for them to schedule my first appointment. Of course, you know I will be keeping you all up to date on this process. I have a lot of goals that I want to accomplish and I think this is my best opportunity for reaching those goals. I hope you will all stick along for the ride. I promise, it's going to get pretty exciting! There are going to be more 5Ks, some 10Ks, half marathons, maybe a full marathon, some obstacle course runs, and maybe even some triathlons! Yes, those are all things I want to do! And I will do them!
Are you ready? I am.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Catch up
It's been a few weeks since I last posted, I know. I've had a lot going on and a lot on my mind. I finished up my two grad classes and I'm still getting used to no homework. I'm now 14 hours into my master's degree (still with a 4.0 gpa! WOO!) with 21 hours to go. If things go according to plan I will graduate in December 2015. I can't wait!
Speaking of wait/weight, I don't even know what to say. It's all over the place. Last week I was down 5 lbs and this week I'm up 2 lbs. I guess that's still a loss of 3 lbs, though, so I'll take it. I have been doing a LOT of thinking about and researching weight loss surgery. I am very strongly leaning toward it right now. It's a decision for me and me alone, though, regardless of what anyone else thinks or wants me to do.
Only my husband and I know exactly how hard I have been working at this weight loss and the lack of results make me want to cry. I would love to be able to inspire everyone and say that it's so simple - eat less, move more! But it's not working for my body for whatever reason. I can only bang my head against a wall so many times before I have to stop because it hurts. And it's starting to hurt a LOT. Surgery, however is not a cure-all or a magic fix. It's a tool. A very, very powerful, irreversible tool. And this is a hard decision.
I met with the HyVee Dietitian for the last time on Wednesday and was disappointed to see that my weight was up 6 or 8 lbs from what I started with at my first visit with her in January. She wanted me to reduce my calories even further but I'm scared. What happens if I do reduce them and lose a little and stall again? I cannot keep reducing, reducing, reducing until I am taking in nothing, can I? I don't think it will do anything, but I will try tweaking my calories for a bit to see what happens. If I am not comfortable with the tweaks, I'll go back to where I am now. I'm already relatively low carb, which I didn't even realize until I started looking back at my entries on MyFitnessPal. I was a little surprised by it, but Jennifer was not. She's a smart cookie, that one.
In other news, my youngest son and I went to St. Louis last weekend for the 2014 Heart Walk at Busch Stadium. We walked 3 miles around the streets of downtown St. Louis and ended with a walk around the field at the stadium. It was very, very cool to be down there, even though I'm not a big baseball fan any more. Back in the day, though, I was a huge Cardinals fan and that will never change. My idol, Ozzie Smith, was the honorary chair of the event and I was really hoping we would get to meet him, but the opportunity never even came up. He did give a speech before the race, but it was so noisy it was hard to hear.
Yesterday, Nick and I traveled to Quincy to take part in our 2nd Bridge the Gap 5K walk. The finisher medals we got were incredible! They were huge, heavy and on a nice wide ribbon. It felt like we were Olympic champions almost! Next year Nick wants to run the 5K. I want to try it too. I hope I am able. Then maybe the following year we'll do the 10K, and then the half marathon! Oh yeah, I have big dreams. One way or another they WILL come true.
I'm not sure what our next race will be. There's one in Mt. Sterling in June that I'd like to do and I might try running a little at that one. We'll see. I also want to get my bike out and go for rides. It needs a little work, which my husband has promised to complete this week. I also need to get a bike helmet. And probably a big pillow to pad my butt. LOL
What kinds of plans do you have to stay active this summer? Do you like to participate in organized events? If so, what is your most favorite that you've done?
Speaking of wait/weight, I don't even know what to say. It's all over the place. Last week I was down 5 lbs and this week I'm up 2 lbs. I guess that's still a loss of 3 lbs, though, so I'll take it. I have been doing a LOT of thinking about and researching weight loss surgery. I am very strongly leaning toward it right now. It's a decision for me and me alone, though, regardless of what anyone else thinks or wants me to do.
Only my husband and I know exactly how hard I have been working at this weight loss and the lack of results make me want to cry. I would love to be able to inspire everyone and say that it's so simple - eat less, move more! But it's not working for my body for whatever reason. I can only bang my head against a wall so many times before I have to stop because it hurts. And it's starting to hurt a LOT. Surgery, however is not a cure-all or a magic fix. It's a tool. A very, very powerful, irreversible tool. And this is a hard decision.
I met with the HyVee Dietitian for the last time on Wednesday and was disappointed to see that my weight was up 6 or 8 lbs from what I started with at my first visit with her in January. She wanted me to reduce my calories even further but I'm scared. What happens if I do reduce them and lose a little and stall again? I cannot keep reducing, reducing, reducing until I am taking in nothing, can I? I don't think it will do anything, but I will try tweaking my calories for a bit to see what happens. If I am not comfortable with the tweaks, I'll go back to where I am now. I'm already relatively low carb, which I didn't even realize until I started looking back at my entries on MyFitnessPal. I was a little surprised by it, but Jennifer was not. She's a smart cookie, that one.
In other news, my youngest son and I went to St. Louis last weekend for the 2014 Heart Walk at Busch Stadium. We walked 3 miles around the streets of downtown St. Louis and ended with a walk around the field at the stadium. It was very, very cool to be down there, even though I'm not a big baseball fan any more. Back in the day, though, I was a huge Cardinals fan and that will never change. My idol, Ozzie Smith, was the honorary chair of the event and I was really hoping we would get to meet him, but the opportunity never even came up. He did give a speech before the race, but it was so noisy it was hard to hear.
Yesterday, Nick and I traveled to Quincy to take part in our 2nd Bridge the Gap 5K walk. The finisher medals we got were incredible! They were huge, heavy and on a nice wide ribbon. It felt like we were Olympic champions almost! Next year Nick wants to run the 5K. I want to try it too. I hope I am able. Then maybe the following year we'll do the 10K, and then the half marathon! Oh yeah, I have big dreams. One way or another they WILL come true.
I'm not sure what our next race will be. There's one in Mt. Sterling in June that I'd like to do and I might try running a little at that one. We'll see. I also want to get my bike out and go for rides. It needs a little work, which my husband has promised to complete this week. I also need to get a bike helmet. And probably a big pillow to pad my butt. LOL
What kinds of plans do you have to stay active this summer? Do you like to participate in organized events? If so, what is your most favorite that you've done?
Monday, April 28, 2014
Weight Loss Clinic Visit
I wanted to write about this while it's all still fresh in my mind. It's been a long and overwhelming day. I got to the clinic around 7a and we got started filling out papers. There were 3 other people in the clinic with me, 2 ladies and a man. We were each called individually to meet with a physical therapist, a nutritionist, nurse practitioner, and psychologist. The appointments lasted about an hour each.
Basically they each told me I was doing everything right and by all accounts I should be losing weight. But I'm not. And I'm gaining, gaining, gaining. Twenty pounds to be exact.
They told me that I was actually the ideal candidate for surgery. I am tracking my food, I am exercising regularly, and I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with emotional eating and stuff like that. These are things they teach patients in this clinic and those that are preparing for bariatric surgery. So I'm sort of ahead of the game by quite a bit.
The physical therapist had a couple of suggestions for tweaking my exercise and I will begin trying her suggestions ASAP. The nurse practitioner ordered an array of labs which I will have drawn in the next day or two. Depending on what they show, she may order some changes. Based on my history, I'm pretty sure she's not going to find any problems. The nutritionist told me to keep doing what I'm doing and keep tracking my food. The psychologist really had nothing to add.
I go back in a month to see the NP and nutritionist. The PT and psych said they don't need to see me for 3 months. I have to attend some mandatory classes in June, but they told me I probably already knew what they would teach in the classes, but I had to do them anyway as part of the program.
The one thing that was kind of nice was hearing the compliments on my fitness level and my efforts thus far. The frustrating thing is that no one has an answer as to why I can't lose and why the gains are happening. I really didn't think I'd get a black and white answer, to be honest, but I was kind of hoping.
If I don't see some results in the next 3 months, I can be referred to the bariatric people for weight loss surgery if I so desire. Do I? I don't know. Part of me does not. I want to do it the "old-fashioned way" and people have a tendency to look down their noses at those who have undergone surgery. There are many people in my life who are against this choice for me. Quite frankly, I don't care because they are not the ones that have to live my life. Weight loss surgery is not an EASY option. It comes with its own set of struggles and issues.
Part of me is willing to undergo surgery if it will help me lose weight. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating it is to work so hard and get nothing for my efforts. I cannot continue to do this if I don't start seeing some results soon. If something doesn't happen, I'm going to throw in the towel and my weight is going to spiral out of control. I know me. I know my limits and I'm almost there. Something has to give!
This is not a decision I will make lightly and I will definitely not make it without putting a lot of research and thought into it. It's not something I have to decide tonight, this month, or even next month. Whatever I decide will be what's right for ME and my life.
Basically they each told me I was doing everything right and by all accounts I should be losing weight. But I'm not. And I'm gaining, gaining, gaining. Twenty pounds to be exact.
They told me that I was actually the ideal candidate for surgery. I am tracking my food, I am exercising regularly, and I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with emotional eating and stuff like that. These are things they teach patients in this clinic and those that are preparing for bariatric surgery. So I'm sort of ahead of the game by quite a bit.
The physical therapist had a couple of suggestions for tweaking my exercise and I will begin trying her suggestions ASAP. The nurse practitioner ordered an array of labs which I will have drawn in the next day or two. Depending on what they show, she may order some changes. Based on my history, I'm pretty sure she's not going to find any problems. The nutritionist told me to keep doing what I'm doing and keep tracking my food. The psychologist really had nothing to add.
I go back in a month to see the NP and nutritionist. The PT and psych said they don't need to see me for 3 months. I have to attend some mandatory classes in June, but they told me I probably already knew what they would teach in the classes, but I had to do them anyway as part of the program.
The one thing that was kind of nice was hearing the compliments on my fitness level and my efforts thus far. The frustrating thing is that no one has an answer as to why I can't lose and why the gains are happening. I really didn't think I'd get a black and white answer, to be honest, but I was kind of hoping.
If I don't see some results in the next 3 months, I can be referred to the bariatric people for weight loss surgery if I so desire. Do I? I don't know. Part of me does not. I want to do it the "old-fashioned way" and people have a tendency to look down their noses at those who have undergone surgery. There are many people in my life who are against this choice for me. Quite frankly, I don't care because they are not the ones that have to live my life. Weight loss surgery is not an EASY option. It comes with its own set of struggles and issues.
Part of me is willing to undergo surgery if it will help me lose weight. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating it is to work so hard and get nothing for my efforts. I cannot continue to do this if I don't start seeing some results soon. If something doesn't happen, I'm going to throw in the towel and my weight is going to spiral out of control. I know me. I know my limits and I'm almost there. Something has to give!
This is not a decision I will make lightly and I will definitely not make it without putting a lot of research and thought into it. It's not something I have to decide tonight, this month, or even next month. Whatever I decide will be what's right for ME and my life.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
So many, many things going on!
Last Saturday I was astounded to get on the scale and see that I'd gained 5 lbs. Yes, FIVE pounds. I have no idea where it came from, but it was very disheartening to see. On Wednesday morning, I just did a quick check to see where I was and I was up 2.5 more lbs.
I decided I needed help in figuring this out and getting a plan together, so I called the Memorial Weight Loss and Wellness Center. I spoke to them for almost an hour and got a lot of my questions answered. I have an appointment for my Global Health Assessment tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. in Springfield. I will meet with a doctor, a physical therapist, nutritionist, and counselor, among others. It is a 4-hour appointment, so this will be exhausting, I'm sure. After their assessments, they will meet and decide the best course of treatment for me. I am not interested in their physical therapy as I am already taking care of that. If I like their plan and feel it will benefit me, I will go to Springfield once a month to meet with the doctor and do whatever I need to do. If I think it's a waste of time, I can just walk away. I feel like I have to at least try.
On Friday I met with my endocrinologist to talk about my inability to lose weight and these sudden gains I'm experiencing. Mathematically, they make no sense and shouldn't be happening. According to my Fitbit report I get weekly, I am in a deficit between what I'm eating and what I'm burning. Therefore, I should be losing! But I'm NOT!
We talked for 40 minutes about a lot of different things. She went over my labs from the past 2 years and we discussed the results in detail. I feel like I have a better grasp of this disease now. She did agree to increase my medication so I do hope it will help. She also wants to see me every 3 months and keep a closer eye on my levels. So I'll be getting lab work done every 3 months as well. She wanted to change my meds, but right now I want to get this weight loss thing going, so I prefer to stay on what I'm on for now. Once I get that sorted out, I am not opposed to trying a different medication. I just worry about changing too much at once.
So yesterday I weighed in and was happy to see I'd lost 1.5 lbs. I wish I was more, considering this was of the 5 lb surprise gain, but I'm happy with a loss. Nick and I also went to Macomb to do the Inaugural Purple and Gold Rocky 5K Run/Walk. We had a great time and we weren't last. We were close, though. Even if we were, I told Nick it didn't matter because Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did Not Start. We won because we were out there doing it and not sitting on our butts. For a $15 registration fee we got a really nice Under Armour moisture wicking race shirt. I was surprised that it was so nice considered the inexpensive fee. I've paid more for races and got cheap cotton shirts that shrank 3 sizes in the first wash. So BONUS!
I dread having to get up at 5a tomorrow to make it to Springfield in time for this appointment, but I'm also anxious to hear what their suggestions might be. I will not do something weird, such as drinking meal replacement shakes, or buy boxed foods, or go on a super-restrictive diet. I refuse. I want to do something that I can do for LIFE. I will not drink a shake for life, I'm not going to eat pre-packaged food all the time for the rest of my life, and I'm not going to restrict myself from eating any food groups. If it works for you, that's great because that is YOUR life, not mine. That's not how I want to live. I'm not asking anyone to follow exactly what I do, either. What I do won't necessarily work in your life. Stepping off that soapbox...
I also met with Dietitian Jennifer for my next-to-last meeting last week! It's been a very good experience working with her, even if my weight hasn't moved in the right direction. I still feel that I've learned a lot and have become very aware of some of my attitudes and feelings toward food. We had some discussion and then she took me on another tour of the store. I had already seen most of what she showed me, but it was good to get a refresher because I had forgotten about some of the products.
This time she told me about chia seeds and gave me a sample to take home and try. Some feel that chia seeds aid in weight loss because they will swell up to 10 times their size in water. The theory is that if you ingest them, they will do that in your stomach, making you feel fuller faster and for a longer period of time. I'm not sure I buy into that, but they are also a great source of Omega-3s, so I figure it can't hurt.
She also encouraged me to try Activia yogurt and suggested adding some Kashi Go Lean cereal. So I got all of that and added the chia seeds to the yogurt, along with the granola stuff. It was very, very tasty. However, if you have never had Activia and the granola, you should be aware that Activia is an ancient Indian word for "cleans colon." Kashi is a Japanese word for "with pain." So when you mix the two...it's not exactly a delightful walk in the park. At least that was MY experience. I would use caution when trying these foods and be sure you are near a restroom in which you feel comfortable being for a slightly extended period of time. And that's all I'm going to say about THAT.
In other news, only a couple of weeks left in this semester and I'm so glad. Once it is over, I will have the rest of May and all of June to devote to ME, ME, ME! My online class starts July 1 and ends July 25, so it will be an intense time and I will not have much ME time. In the Fall, I'm taking 2 Weekend Academy classes, which will be a new experience. Each class only meets 3 weekends. One of them is on Fridays from 5p - 10p and Saturday from 8a - 6p. The other one meets Sat/Sun from 8a - 5p. Of course they are all on different weekends. This will start in September and I will be done in early November. I'm not sure what my time for me will be like, but I think I will still have time to workout through the week.
How are things in your life? What is your weight loss/get healthy plan like? What are the things you absolutely refuse to do in order to lose weight (drink daily shake, take pills, etc)? Any upcoming 5Ks in the area you are doing?
I decided I needed help in figuring this out and getting a plan together, so I called the Memorial Weight Loss and Wellness Center. I spoke to them for almost an hour and got a lot of my questions answered. I have an appointment for my Global Health Assessment tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. in Springfield. I will meet with a doctor, a physical therapist, nutritionist, and counselor, among others. It is a 4-hour appointment, so this will be exhausting, I'm sure. After their assessments, they will meet and decide the best course of treatment for me. I am not interested in their physical therapy as I am already taking care of that. If I like their plan and feel it will benefit me, I will go to Springfield once a month to meet with the doctor and do whatever I need to do. If I think it's a waste of time, I can just walk away. I feel like I have to at least try.
On Friday I met with my endocrinologist to talk about my inability to lose weight and these sudden gains I'm experiencing. Mathematically, they make no sense and shouldn't be happening. According to my Fitbit report I get weekly, I am in a deficit between what I'm eating and what I'm burning. Therefore, I should be losing! But I'm NOT!
We talked for 40 minutes about a lot of different things. She went over my labs from the past 2 years and we discussed the results in detail. I feel like I have a better grasp of this disease now. She did agree to increase my medication so I do hope it will help. She also wants to see me every 3 months and keep a closer eye on my levels. So I'll be getting lab work done every 3 months as well. She wanted to change my meds, but right now I want to get this weight loss thing going, so I prefer to stay on what I'm on for now. Once I get that sorted out, I am not opposed to trying a different medication. I just worry about changing too much at once.
So yesterday I weighed in and was happy to see I'd lost 1.5 lbs. I wish I was more, considering this was of the 5 lb surprise gain, but I'm happy with a loss. Nick and I also went to Macomb to do the Inaugural Purple and Gold Rocky 5K Run/Walk. We had a great time and we weren't last. We were close, though. Even if we were, I told Nick it didn't matter because Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did Not Start. We won because we were out there doing it and not sitting on our butts. For a $15 registration fee we got a really nice Under Armour moisture wicking race shirt. I was surprised that it was so nice considered the inexpensive fee. I've paid more for races and got cheap cotton shirts that shrank 3 sizes in the first wash. So BONUS!
I dread having to get up at 5a tomorrow to make it to Springfield in time for this appointment, but I'm also anxious to hear what their suggestions might be. I will not do something weird, such as drinking meal replacement shakes, or buy boxed foods, or go on a super-restrictive diet. I refuse. I want to do something that I can do for LIFE. I will not drink a shake for life, I'm not going to eat pre-packaged food all the time for the rest of my life, and I'm not going to restrict myself from eating any food groups. If it works for you, that's great because that is YOUR life, not mine. That's not how I want to live. I'm not asking anyone to follow exactly what I do, either. What I do won't necessarily work in your life. Stepping off that soapbox...
I also met with Dietitian Jennifer for my next-to-last meeting last week! It's been a very good experience working with her, even if my weight hasn't moved in the right direction. I still feel that I've learned a lot and have become very aware of some of my attitudes and feelings toward food. We had some discussion and then she took me on another tour of the store. I had already seen most of what she showed me, but it was good to get a refresher because I had forgotten about some of the products.
This time she told me about chia seeds and gave me a sample to take home and try. Some feel that chia seeds aid in weight loss because they will swell up to 10 times their size in water. The theory is that if you ingest them, they will do that in your stomach, making you feel fuller faster and for a longer period of time. I'm not sure I buy into that, but they are also a great source of Omega-3s, so I figure it can't hurt.
She also encouraged me to try Activia yogurt and suggested adding some Kashi Go Lean cereal. So I got all of that and added the chia seeds to the yogurt, along with the granola stuff. It was very, very tasty. However, if you have never had Activia and the granola, you should be aware that Activia is an ancient Indian word for "cleans colon." Kashi is a Japanese word for "with pain." So when you mix the two...it's not exactly a delightful walk in the park. At least that was MY experience. I would use caution when trying these foods and be sure you are near a restroom in which you feel comfortable being for a slightly extended period of time. And that's all I'm going to say about THAT.
In other news, only a couple of weeks left in this semester and I'm so glad. Once it is over, I will have the rest of May and all of June to devote to ME, ME, ME! My online class starts July 1 and ends July 25, so it will be an intense time and I will not have much ME time. In the Fall, I'm taking 2 Weekend Academy classes, which will be a new experience. Each class only meets 3 weekends. One of them is on Fridays from 5p - 10p and Saturday from 8a - 6p. The other one meets Sat/Sun from 8a - 5p. Of course they are all on different weekends. This will start in September and I will be done in early November. I'm not sure what my time for me will be like, but I think I will still have time to workout through the week.
How are things in your life? What is your weight loss/get healthy plan like? What are the things you absolutely refuse to do in order to lose weight (drink daily shake, take pills, etc)? Any upcoming 5Ks in the area you are doing?
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Heading in the right direction
Ok, since we last talked I celebrated a birthday, so I'm a little older but not any wiser. I hope that part kicks in soon because I could use some wisdom. Last week I gained 2.25 lbs. I didn't work out as much and I wasn't as careful with my eating, so I wasn't surprised. However I got my act back together and I have lost 3 lbs this week.
One of the things that really helped me was to call my endocrinologist and schedule an appointment to see the actual doctor. I've been working with the nurse practitioner, and while I feel NPs play an important role in health care, there are just some times when it's better to talk to the doctor. This is one. I also requested they fax my last set of labs to me so I can see the numbers for myself. The NP had told me they were all fine in early March. Well, one of the levels was actually low and could be causing this weight to not come off. I see my endocrinologist on April 25.
In preparation for the appointment, I asked Dietitian Jennifer to write a letter to her that explains what we've been doing. She agreed and gave me the letter at my appointment on Wednesday. It basically outlines the changes we have implemented and points out that I've lost 1 lb since late January. That's not very impressive for the work I've put into this. It's absolutely maddening, to be honest! I hope the endocrinologist is open to listening and will help me figure out what's wrong with my body. The previous endo that I was seeing at that office has retired, so I've not met this lady yet.
I also cashed in my certificate for a training program that I won in the Biggest Loser contest. On Tuesday, I spoke with the trainer creating it at length about my goals, how often I wanted to work out, etc. He is working on it and will let me know when it's ready. Hopefully this week.
We're coming into the final weeks of this semester and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I have lots of homework waiting for me, as usual. I can't wait for Spring 2014 semester to end so I can enjoy a few weeks of vacation. July 1 I'll start again with a 4-week summer class. It will be stressful, but I'll be ready!
Hope everyone in this area is able to get out and enjoy the weather! It's 75 degrees out right now which is a lovely change after the horribly cold winter we just came out of. I think I'm going to take my textbook outside and sit and read.
How has your week been going? Successes? Failures? If you've hit a bump, let it just be a bump and do not let it derail you. Think of your progress and the good you are doing for your body. The number on the scale isn't where I want it to be, but working out and eating right are more important for my overall health. It is for yours, too!
One of the things that really helped me was to call my endocrinologist and schedule an appointment to see the actual doctor. I've been working with the nurse practitioner, and while I feel NPs play an important role in health care, there are just some times when it's better to talk to the doctor. This is one. I also requested they fax my last set of labs to me so I can see the numbers for myself. The NP had told me they were all fine in early March. Well, one of the levels was actually low and could be causing this weight to not come off. I see my endocrinologist on April 25.
In preparation for the appointment, I asked Dietitian Jennifer to write a letter to her that explains what we've been doing. She agreed and gave me the letter at my appointment on Wednesday. It basically outlines the changes we have implemented and points out that I've lost 1 lb since late January. That's not very impressive for the work I've put into this. It's absolutely maddening, to be honest! I hope the endocrinologist is open to listening and will help me figure out what's wrong with my body. The previous endo that I was seeing at that office has retired, so I've not met this lady yet.
I also cashed in my certificate for a training program that I won in the Biggest Loser contest. On Tuesday, I spoke with the trainer creating it at length about my goals, how often I wanted to work out, etc. He is working on it and will let me know when it's ready. Hopefully this week.
We're coming into the final weeks of this semester and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I have lots of homework waiting for me, as usual. I can't wait for Spring 2014 semester to end so I can enjoy a few weeks of vacation. July 1 I'll start again with a 4-week summer class. It will be stressful, but I'll be ready!
Hope everyone in this area is able to get out and enjoy the weather! It's 75 degrees out right now which is a lovely change after the horribly cold winter we just came out of. I think I'm going to take my textbook outside and sit and read.
How has your week been going? Successes? Failures? If you've hit a bump, let it just be a bump and do not let it derail you. Think of your progress and the good you are doing for your body. The number on the scale isn't where I want it to be, but working out and eating right are more important for my overall health. It is for yours, too!
Monday, March 31, 2014
WIU Biggest Loser Finale
Today was our final Biggest Loser meeting at the Rec Center. The girl that won was the one that I figured would win. She lost 16 lbs total, which is awesome for 7 weeks. I can't remember what the 2nd place girl did. I came in 3rd by default because no one else was there. I lost 3 lbs and 3 inches. Rather disappointing results for seven weeks of busting my butt and working hard, but I'm not complaining.
One of my prizes was a certificate for a training plan, which I plan to "cash in" as soon as possible. They also asked if we would be interested in participating again if they should offer it, and I definitely am. They are thinking of doing it in groups of 4, but I'm not exactly sure how that would work. Still interested! Working with the trainer was a great way for me to stay accountable and to stay motivated. The only thing I said that should be changed was the lateness of the meetings. I did not care for the 7:30 p.m. meeting time as that made for a really long day. Other than that, it was a great experience and well worth the $30 I paid to participate.
In other news, I lost 0.2 lbs this week. It's a loss but so small that I'm not even really counting it. I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling mentally with this lack of results. I cannot put into words how it feels to know you've followed the eating plan to perfection, worked your butt off to the point that your body hurts all the time....and you get nothing in return, or even worse, you see a gain. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but after 4 solid months of this struggle, it's getting really challenging to do. I keep saying I won't give up, but I am truly feeling discouraged.
Until next week,
angie
One of my prizes was a certificate for a training plan, which I plan to "cash in" as soon as possible. They also asked if we would be interested in participating again if they should offer it, and I definitely am. They are thinking of doing it in groups of 4, but I'm not exactly sure how that would work. Still interested! Working with the trainer was a great way for me to stay accountable and to stay motivated. The only thing I said that should be changed was the lateness of the meetings. I did not care for the 7:30 p.m. meeting time as that made for a really long day. Other than that, it was a great experience and well worth the $30 I paid to participate.
In other news, I lost 0.2 lbs this week. It's a loss but so small that I'm not even really counting it. I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling mentally with this lack of results. I cannot put into words how it feels to know you've followed the eating plan to perfection, worked your butt off to the point that your body hurts all the time....and you get nothing in return, or even worse, you see a gain. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but after 4 solid months of this struggle, it's getting really challenging to do. I keep saying I won't give up, but I am truly feeling discouraged.
Until next week,
angie
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Happy...and a little disappointed
Ok, let's get to the good stuff first! I stepped on the scale yesterday and was delighted to be greeted with a loss of 1.5 lbs this week. Oh yeah! Hopefully my slightly dyslexic body is starting to get this whole "weight loss" idea and is finally catching on. We can only hope.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
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