I wanted to write about this while it's all still fresh in my mind. It's been a long and overwhelming day. I got to the clinic around 7a and we got started filling out papers. There were 3 other people in the clinic with me, 2 ladies and a man. We were each called individually to meet with a physical therapist, a nutritionist, nurse practitioner, and psychologist. The appointments lasted about an hour each.
Basically they each told me I was doing everything right and by all accounts I should be losing weight. But I'm not. And I'm gaining, gaining, gaining. Twenty pounds to be exact.
They told me that I was actually the ideal candidate for surgery. I am tracking my food, I am exercising regularly, and I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with emotional eating and stuff like that. These are things they teach patients in this clinic and those that are preparing for bariatric surgery. So I'm sort of ahead of the game by quite a bit.
The physical therapist had a couple of suggestions for tweaking my exercise and I will begin trying her suggestions ASAP. The nurse practitioner ordered an array of labs which I will have drawn in the next day or two. Depending on what they show, she may order some changes. Based on my history, I'm pretty sure she's not going to find any problems. The nutritionist told me to keep doing what I'm doing and keep tracking my food. The psychologist really had nothing to add.
I go back in a month to see the NP and nutritionist. The PT and psych said they don't need to see me for 3 months. I have to attend some mandatory classes in June, but they told me I probably already knew what they would teach in the classes, but I had to do them anyway as part of the program.
The one thing that was kind of nice was hearing the compliments on my fitness level and my efforts thus far. The frustrating thing is that no one has an answer as to why I can't lose and why the gains are happening. I really didn't think I'd get a black and white answer, to be honest, but I was kind of hoping.
If I don't see some results in the next 3 months, I can be referred to the bariatric people for weight loss surgery if I so desire. Do I? I don't know. Part of me does not. I want to do it the "old-fashioned way" and people have a tendency to look down their noses at those who have undergone surgery. There are many people in my life who are against this choice for me. Quite frankly, I don't care because they are not the ones that have to live my life. Weight loss surgery is not an EASY option. It comes with its own set of struggles and issues.
Part of me is willing to undergo surgery if it will help me lose weight. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating it is to work so hard and get nothing for my efforts. I cannot continue to do this if I don't start seeing some results soon. If something doesn't happen, I'm going to throw in the towel and my weight is going to spiral out of control. I know me. I know my limits and I'm almost there. Something has to give!
This is not a decision I will make lightly and I will definitely not make it without putting a lot of research and thought into it. It's not something I have to decide tonight, this month, or even next month. Whatever I decide will be what's right for ME and my life.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
So many, many things going on!
Last Saturday I was astounded to get on the scale and see that I'd gained 5 lbs. Yes, FIVE pounds. I have no idea where it came from, but it was very disheartening to see. On Wednesday morning, I just did a quick check to see where I was and I was up 2.5 more lbs.
I decided I needed help in figuring this out and getting a plan together, so I called the Memorial Weight Loss and Wellness Center. I spoke to them for almost an hour and got a lot of my questions answered. I have an appointment for my Global Health Assessment tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. in Springfield. I will meet with a doctor, a physical therapist, nutritionist, and counselor, among others. It is a 4-hour appointment, so this will be exhausting, I'm sure. After their assessments, they will meet and decide the best course of treatment for me. I am not interested in their physical therapy as I am already taking care of that. If I like their plan and feel it will benefit me, I will go to Springfield once a month to meet with the doctor and do whatever I need to do. If I think it's a waste of time, I can just walk away. I feel like I have to at least try.
On Friday I met with my endocrinologist to talk about my inability to lose weight and these sudden gains I'm experiencing. Mathematically, they make no sense and shouldn't be happening. According to my Fitbit report I get weekly, I am in a deficit between what I'm eating and what I'm burning. Therefore, I should be losing! But I'm NOT!
We talked for 40 minutes about a lot of different things. She went over my labs from the past 2 years and we discussed the results in detail. I feel like I have a better grasp of this disease now. She did agree to increase my medication so I do hope it will help. She also wants to see me every 3 months and keep a closer eye on my levels. So I'll be getting lab work done every 3 months as well. She wanted to change my meds, but right now I want to get this weight loss thing going, so I prefer to stay on what I'm on for now. Once I get that sorted out, I am not opposed to trying a different medication. I just worry about changing too much at once.
So yesterday I weighed in and was happy to see I'd lost 1.5 lbs. I wish I was more, considering this was of the 5 lb surprise gain, but I'm happy with a loss. Nick and I also went to Macomb to do the Inaugural Purple and Gold Rocky 5K Run/Walk. We had a great time and we weren't last. We were close, though. Even if we were, I told Nick it didn't matter because Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did Not Start. We won because we were out there doing it and not sitting on our butts. For a $15 registration fee we got a really nice Under Armour moisture wicking race shirt. I was surprised that it was so nice considered the inexpensive fee. I've paid more for races and got cheap cotton shirts that shrank 3 sizes in the first wash. So BONUS!
I dread having to get up at 5a tomorrow to make it to Springfield in time for this appointment, but I'm also anxious to hear what their suggestions might be. I will not do something weird, such as drinking meal replacement shakes, or buy boxed foods, or go on a super-restrictive diet. I refuse. I want to do something that I can do for LIFE. I will not drink a shake for life, I'm not going to eat pre-packaged food all the time for the rest of my life, and I'm not going to restrict myself from eating any food groups. If it works for you, that's great because that is YOUR life, not mine. That's not how I want to live. I'm not asking anyone to follow exactly what I do, either. What I do won't necessarily work in your life. Stepping off that soapbox...
I also met with Dietitian Jennifer for my next-to-last meeting last week! It's been a very good experience working with her, even if my weight hasn't moved in the right direction. I still feel that I've learned a lot and have become very aware of some of my attitudes and feelings toward food. We had some discussion and then she took me on another tour of the store. I had already seen most of what she showed me, but it was good to get a refresher because I had forgotten about some of the products.
This time she told me about chia seeds and gave me a sample to take home and try. Some feel that chia seeds aid in weight loss because they will swell up to 10 times their size in water. The theory is that if you ingest them, they will do that in your stomach, making you feel fuller faster and for a longer period of time. I'm not sure I buy into that, but they are also a great source of Omega-3s, so I figure it can't hurt.
She also encouraged me to try Activia yogurt and suggested adding some Kashi Go Lean cereal. So I got all of that and added the chia seeds to the yogurt, along with the granola stuff. It was very, very tasty. However, if you have never had Activia and the granola, you should be aware that Activia is an ancient Indian word for "cleans colon." Kashi is a Japanese word for "with pain." So when you mix the two...it's not exactly a delightful walk in the park. At least that was MY experience. I would use caution when trying these foods and be sure you are near a restroom in which you feel comfortable being for a slightly extended period of time. And that's all I'm going to say about THAT.
In other news, only a couple of weeks left in this semester and I'm so glad. Once it is over, I will have the rest of May and all of June to devote to ME, ME, ME! My online class starts July 1 and ends July 25, so it will be an intense time and I will not have much ME time. In the Fall, I'm taking 2 Weekend Academy classes, which will be a new experience. Each class only meets 3 weekends. One of them is on Fridays from 5p - 10p and Saturday from 8a - 6p. The other one meets Sat/Sun from 8a - 5p. Of course they are all on different weekends. This will start in September and I will be done in early November. I'm not sure what my time for me will be like, but I think I will still have time to workout through the week.
How are things in your life? What is your weight loss/get healthy plan like? What are the things you absolutely refuse to do in order to lose weight (drink daily shake, take pills, etc)? Any upcoming 5Ks in the area you are doing?
I decided I needed help in figuring this out and getting a plan together, so I called the Memorial Weight Loss and Wellness Center. I spoke to them for almost an hour and got a lot of my questions answered. I have an appointment for my Global Health Assessment tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. in Springfield. I will meet with a doctor, a physical therapist, nutritionist, and counselor, among others. It is a 4-hour appointment, so this will be exhausting, I'm sure. After their assessments, they will meet and decide the best course of treatment for me. I am not interested in their physical therapy as I am already taking care of that. If I like their plan and feel it will benefit me, I will go to Springfield once a month to meet with the doctor and do whatever I need to do. If I think it's a waste of time, I can just walk away. I feel like I have to at least try.
On Friday I met with my endocrinologist to talk about my inability to lose weight and these sudden gains I'm experiencing. Mathematically, they make no sense and shouldn't be happening. According to my Fitbit report I get weekly, I am in a deficit between what I'm eating and what I'm burning. Therefore, I should be losing! But I'm NOT!
We talked for 40 minutes about a lot of different things. She went over my labs from the past 2 years and we discussed the results in detail. I feel like I have a better grasp of this disease now. She did agree to increase my medication so I do hope it will help. She also wants to see me every 3 months and keep a closer eye on my levels. So I'll be getting lab work done every 3 months as well. She wanted to change my meds, but right now I want to get this weight loss thing going, so I prefer to stay on what I'm on for now. Once I get that sorted out, I am not opposed to trying a different medication. I just worry about changing too much at once.
So yesterday I weighed in and was happy to see I'd lost 1.5 lbs. I wish I was more, considering this was of the 5 lb surprise gain, but I'm happy with a loss. Nick and I also went to Macomb to do the Inaugural Purple and Gold Rocky 5K Run/Walk. We had a great time and we weren't last. We were close, though. Even if we were, I told Nick it didn't matter because Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish which is greater than Did Not Start. We won because we were out there doing it and not sitting on our butts. For a $15 registration fee we got a really nice Under Armour moisture wicking race shirt. I was surprised that it was so nice considered the inexpensive fee. I've paid more for races and got cheap cotton shirts that shrank 3 sizes in the first wash. So BONUS!
I dread having to get up at 5a tomorrow to make it to Springfield in time for this appointment, but I'm also anxious to hear what their suggestions might be. I will not do something weird, such as drinking meal replacement shakes, or buy boxed foods, or go on a super-restrictive diet. I refuse. I want to do something that I can do for LIFE. I will not drink a shake for life, I'm not going to eat pre-packaged food all the time for the rest of my life, and I'm not going to restrict myself from eating any food groups. If it works for you, that's great because that is YOUR life, not mine. That's not how I want to live. I'm not asking anyone to follow exactly what I do, either. What I do won't necessarily work in your life. Stepping off that soapbox...
I also met with Dietitian Jennifer for my next-to-last meeting last week! It's been a very good experience working with her, even if my weight hasn't moved in the right direction. I still feel that I've learned a lot and have become very aware of some of my attitudes and feelings toward food. We had some discussion and then she took me on another tour of the store. I had already seen most of what she showed me, but it was good to get a refresher because I had forgotten about some of the products.
This time she told me about chia seeds and gave me a sample to take home and try. Some feel that chia seeds aid in weight loss because they will swell up to 10 times their size in water. The theory is that if you ingest them, they will do that in your stomach, making you feel fuller faster and for a longer period of time. I'm not sure I buy into that, but they are also a great source of Omega-3s, so I figure it can't hurt.
She also encouraged me to try Activia yogurt and suggested adding some Kashi Go Lean cereal. So I got all of that and added the chia seeds to the yogurt, along with the granola stuff. It was very, very tasty. However, if you have never had Activia and the granola, you should be aware that Activia is an ancient Indian word for "cleans colon." Kashi is a Japanese word for "with pain." So when you mix the two...it's not exactly a delightful walk in the park. At least that was MY experience. I would use caution when trying these foods and be sure you are near a restroom in which you feel comfortable being for a slightly extended period of time. And that's all I'm going to say about THAT.
In other news, only a couple of weeks left in this semester and I'm so glad. Once it is over, I will have the rest of May and all of June to devote to ME, ME, ME! My online class starts July 1 and ends July 25, so it will be an intense time and I will not have much ME time. In the Fall, I'm taking 2 Weekend Academy classes, which will be a new experience. Each class only meets 3 weekends. One of them is on Fridays from 5p - 10p and Saturday from 8a - 6p. The other one meets Sat/Sun from 8a - 5p. Of course they are all on different weekends. This will start in September and I will be done in early November. I'm not sure what my time for me will be like, but I think I will still have time to workout through the week.
How are things in your life? What is your weight loss/get healthy plan like? What are the things you absolutely refuse to do in order to lose weight (drink daily shake, take pills, etc)? Any upcoming 5Ks in the area you are doing?
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Heading in the right direction
Ok, since we last talked I celebrated a birthday, so I'm a little older but not any wiser. I hope that part kicks in soon because I could use some wisdom. Last week I gained 2.25 lbs. I didn't work out as much and I wasn't as careful with my eating, so I wasn't surprised. However I got my act back together and I have lost 3 lbs this week.
One of the things that really helped me was to call my endocrinologist and schedule an appointment to see the actual doctor. I've been working with the nurse practitioner, and while I feel NPs play an important role in health care, there are just some times when it's better to talk to the doctor. This is one. I also requested they fax my last set of labs to me so I can see the numbers for myself. The NP had told me they were all fine in early March. Well, one of the levels was actually low and could be causing this weight to not come off. I see my endocrinologist on April 25.
In preparation for the appointment, I asked Dietitian Jennifer to write a letter to her that explains what we've been doing. She agreed and gave me the letter at my appointment on Wednesday. It basically outlines the changes we have implemented and points out that I've lost 1 lb since late January. That's not very impressive for the work I've put into this. It's absolutely maddening, to be honest! I hope the endocrinologist is open to listening and will help me figure out what's wrong with my body. The previous endo that I was seeing at that office has retired, so I've not met this lady yet.
I also cashed in my certificate for a training program that I won in the Biggest Loser contest. On Tuesday, I spoke with the trainer creating it at length about my goals, how often I wanted to work out, etc. He is working on it and will let me know when it's ready. Hopefully this week.
We're coming into the final weeks of this semester and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I have lots of homework waiting for me, as usual. I can't wait for Spring 2014 semester to end so I can enjoy a few weeks of vacation. July 1 I'll start again with a 4-week summer class. It will be stressful, but I'll be ready!
Hope everyone in this area is able to get out and enjoy the weather! It's 75 degrees out right now which is a lovely change after the horribly cold winter we just came out of. I think I'm going to take my textbook outside and sit and read.
How has your week been going? Successes? Failures? If you've hit a bump, let it just be a bump and do not let it derail you. Think of your progress and the good you are doing for your body. The number on the scale isn't where I want it to be, but working out and eating right are more important for my overall health. It is for yours, too!
One of the things that really helped me was to call my endocrinologist and schedule an appointment to see the actual doctor. I've been working with the nurse practitioner, and while I feel NPs play an important role in health care, there are just some times when it's better to talk to the doctor. This is one. I also requested they fax my last set of labs to me so I can see the numbers for myself. The NP had told me they were all fine in early March. Well, one of the levels was actually low and could be causing this weight to not come off. I see my endocrinologist on April 25.
In preparation for the appointment, I asked Dietitian Jennifer to write a letter to her that explains what we've been doing. She agreed and gave me the letter at my appointment on Wednesday. It basically outlines the changes we have implemented and points out that I've lost 1 lb since late January. That's not very impressive for the work I've put into this. It's absolutely maddening, to be honest! I hope the endocrinologist is open to listening and will help me figure out what's wrong with my body. The previous endo that I was seeing at that office has retired, so I've not met this lady yet.
I also cashed in my certificate for a training program that I won in the Biggest Loser contest. On Tuesday, I spoke with the trainer creating it at length about my goals, how often I wanted to work out, etc. He is working on it and will let me know when it's ready. Hopefully this week.
We're coming into the final weeks of this semester and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I have lots of homework waiting for me, as usual. I can't wait for Spring 2014 semester to end so I can enjoy a few weeks of vacation. July 1 I'll start again with a 4-week summer class. It will be stressful, but I'll be ready!
Hope everyone in this area is able to get out and enjoy the weather! It's 75 degrees out right now which is a lovely change after the horribly cold winter we just came out of. I think I'm going to take my textbook outside and sit and read.
How has your week been going? Successes? Failures? If you've hit a bump, let it just be a bump and do not let it derail you. Think of your progress and the good you are doing for your body. The number on the scale isn't where I want it to be, but working out and eating right are more important for my overall health. It is for yours, too!
Monday, March 31, 2014
WIU Biggest Loser Finale
Today was our final Biggest Loser meeting at the Rec Center. The girl that won was the one that I figured would win. She lost 16 lbs total, which is awesome for 7 weeks. I can't remember what the 2nd place girl did. I came in 3rd by default because no one else was there. I lost 3 lbs and 3 inches. Rather disappointing results for seven weeks of busting my butt and working hard, but I'm not complaining.
One of my prizes was a certificate for a training plan, which I plan to "cash in" as soon as possible. They also asked if we would be interested in participating again if they should offer it, and I definitely am. They are thinking of doing it in groups of 4, but I'm not exactly sure how that would work. Still interested! Working with the trainer was a great way for me to stay accountable and to stay motivated. The only thing I said that should be changed was the lateness of the meetings. I did not care for the 7:30 p.m. meeting time as that made for a really long day. Other than that, it was a great experience and well worth the $30 I paid to participate.
In other news, I lost 0.2 lbs this week. It's a loss but so small that I'm not even really counting it. I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling mentally with this lack of results. I cannot put into words how it feels to know you've followed the eating plan to perfection, worked your butt off to the point that your body hurts all the time....and you get nothing in return, or even worse, you see a gain. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but after 4 solid months of this struggle, it's getting really challenging to do. I keep saying I won't give up, but I am truly feeling discouraged.
Until next week,
angie
One of my prizes was a certificate for a training plan, which I plan to "cash in" as soon as possible. They also asked if we would be interested in participating again if they should offer it, and I definitely am. They are thinking of doing it in groups of 4, but I'm not exactly sure how that would work. Still interested! Working with the trainer was a great way for me to stay accountable and to stay motivated. The only thing I said that should be changed was the lateness of the meetings. I did not care for the 7:30 p.m. meeting time as that made for a really long day. Other than that, it was a great experience and well worth the $30 I paid to participate.
In other news, I lost 0.2 lbs this week. It's a loss but so small that I'm not even really counting it. I'm not going to lie - I'm struggling mentally with this lack of results. I cannot put into words how it feels to know you've followed the eating plan to perfection, worked your butt off to the point that your body hurts all the time....and you get nothing in return, or even worse, you see a gain. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but after 4 solid months of this struggle, it's getting really challenging to do. I keep saying I won't give up, but I am truly feeling discouraged.
Until next week,
angie
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Happy...and a little disappointed
Ok, let's get to the good stuff first! I stepped on the scale yesterday and was delighted to be greeted with a loss of 1.5 lbs this week. Oh yeah! Hopefully my slightly dyslexic body is starting to get this whole "weight loss" idea and is finally catching on. We can only hope.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
The disappointing part of my week was my meeting with Dietitian Jennifer on Wednesday. Overall she is very pleased with my food log and suggested a few changes. One of them was to think about food before I consume it and ask myself, "Is this taking me closer to my goals or further from my goals?" Good idea, now I just have to remember to actually do it and then LISTEN to the answer and not ignore it. I discovered a few tweaks that I could make to help me slowly make my way toward even healthier eating. My ultimate goal is to get rid of as much processed food as possible. I'm not sure if I want to or can COMPLETELY eliminate it, but if I keep moving in the direction I'm going, it is a strong possibility. I'm a work in progress, as we all are.
The disappointment came when we began to talk about exercise. Tomorrow night is my last Biggest Loser meeting and this is my last week with my trainer. Jennifer expressed concern about me continuing to exercise, which is logical since she doesn't know me that well and she doesn't know all of my history. I assured her that I would continue with exercising as I've been doing it pretty regularly for about 4 years. Exercise is not my problem --- it's the diet part where I fall down. As I told her, I am the poster child to demonstrate that old adage, "You can't out-exercise a bad diet." You cannot. It will not work, no matter how hard you try. Well, now that my diet is much improved, I still can't seem to lose, but that's beside the point.
I was taken aback when she advised me to continue to lift weights, but to really work on the cardio because that's where I would get the biggest fat burn. I was speechless because that way of thinking is so outdated and just plain WRONG! Weight lifting is essential to losing weight because as you build muscle, it will continue to burn calories far longer than through just cardio. Cardio will burn fat, don't get me wrong, but it's only for a short time. Weights are where it's at. And weights are what I like.
Since I am paying her to discuss food/eating and not exercise, I chose to ignore that advice and not even comment on it. I didn't want to start something and I strongly prefer to avoid confrontation. It was a "choose your battle" moment, and I chose to not engage. I know that's not her area of expertise, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
In other news, I'm excited and sad that our Biggest Loser program is ending. It seems like it just got started. We are down to 5 participants, and they are all students. I have no doubts that I will probably finish dead last, but when you put a 43 year old up against 20-somethings, that's bound to happen. I don't care about winning, because the experience and knowledge were worth it. I have very much enjoyed working with my trainer and I have learned a few things from him that I will start incorporating. If nothing else, it got me back to being comfortable in the weight room again. Can't beat that!
I will NOT miss the 7:30 p.m. meetings. Oh my goodness, my Mondays have been sooooooooooo long during this. I leave my house around 7:10 a.m. and do not get home until 9-9:30 p.m. That part has sucked. I am not complaining because it was a sacrifice I have been willing to make. I wish the meeting time could have been earlier.
What do you do for exercise? Are you incorporating weight lifting into your routine or are you just relying on cardio? If you aren't lifting weights, why not? And are you lifting HEAVY weights? I'm not talking the little 3 lb Barbie dumbbells...I mean heavy. Did you know that women are physically incapable of bulking up like men? Our bodies do not produce enough testosterone to do so. Those lady bodybuilders that have the big muscles are taking some kind of supplement or something to make their muscles do that. Plus they train and eat specifically for that.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Frustration
I have stayed off the scales all week, as Jennifer suggested. I've also worked hard to stay in the 1500-1600 calorie range she suggested. I've done really well with both goals, so I wasn't sure what the scale would show today. I've been working out hard, burning lots of calories, following the training plan that my trainer left me while he was gone for Spring Break. I've done everything right, followed all the rules, and worked really hard. I am proud of my efforts.
So what did the scale show me this morning?
A gain of 3.5 lbs.
Seriously?!?!?!?
I really don't get this and I don't know what is going on. I KNOW I didn't consume 12,000+ calories and it's not a gain of fat. But why does this keep happening? I want to weep with frustration, but that won't accomplish anything. I don't want to cut my calories further because I don't think that will help and I'm able to be comfortable without being hungry at this level.
So the plan is to keep doing what I'm doing. Work harder when I can, get rest, and keep making good food choices. I will not give up, even though the frustration is overwhelming at times. This has been happening for 2 1/2 months now. I don't know how long it will take my body to get the message, but it has to sink in sometime. I didn't think I was a slow learner, but apparently I am!
Have you ever thought of throwing in the towel? What stopped you? If you did, what got you going again? And if you aren't going again yet, are you ready?
So what did the scale show me this morning?
A gain of 3.5 lbs.
Seriously?!?!?!?
I really don't get this and I don't know what is going on. I KNOW I didn't consume 12,000+ calories and it's not a gain of fat. But why does this keep happening? I want to weep with frustration, but that won't accomplish anything. I don't want to cut my calories further because I don't think that will help and I'm able to be comfortable without being hungry at this level.
So the plan is to keep doing what I'm doing. Work harder when I can, get rest, and keep making good food choices. I will not give up, even though the frustration is overwhelming at times. This has been happening for 2 1/2 months now. I don't know how long it will take my body to get the message, but it has to sink in sometime. I didn't think I was a slow learner, but apparently I am!
Have you ever thought of throwing in the towel? What stopped you? If you did, what got you going again? And if you aren't going again yet, are you ready?
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Emotional Week
This week was full of ups and downs. It started with the scales inexplicably climbing up, up, up until I had gained almost 4 lbs. There was NO logical reason for this. I was exercising, drinking my water, staying in my calorie range, and eating healthy food. So why the gain? No clue, but it was maddening, disheartening, depressing, and made me incredibly sad. Especially when people who weren't even trying to lose weight reported to me that they had lost weight. Seriously?!?!
I decided that apparently the only way for me to possibly lose weight was to have bariatric surgery. I went to the Memorial Medical Center's website and signed up. Well, it's not really that easy...first you have to sign up for pre-screening. I got denied. I don't weigh enough to qualify for surgery, and I have no co-existing conditions (diabetes/pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) that qualify me. So that was kind of a kick in the teeth, too!
On Wednesday, I met with Jennifer, mypsychotherapist dietitian. It was a very emotional meeting, and we talked for an hour. She has no explanation for the gain either (I was up 3 lbs on her scale from last week's weight). I am doing everything that I should be doing. Mathematically speaking, I should be losing. Reality, however, seems to have other ideas. After talking with her my goals for the week were to stay off the scales. They are causing more problems than anything and ruining my day. I will only weigh on Saturday, my regular day, and on Wednesday with Jennifer. I also adjusted my calories down just a smidge to 1500-1600, no more than 1600 and no less than 1500. And then I am going to keep doing what I'm doing.
Another thing we talked about was my worry about going to dinner on Saturday night with some family and friends. We were going to eat at my mother-in-law's house, and I knew we'd be ordering pizza. I didn't want that meal to undo everything, but I also wanted to not be all "special" and not be able to eat what everyone else was eating. This is going to come up in life from time to time and I need to deal with it. We decided that I would take a large chef salad with me and I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza. I did exactly that and it was fine. I did also "splurge" and have 1/2 cheese breadstick as well, but I was still under my 1600 calories for the day! My MIL surprised me when she brought out some cookies, but I managed to stay out of those. Now had we eaten at the restaurant, I would have gotten a big salad bar and had 1 slice. It would still work!
So I had to wait for Saturday to weigh in and see how I was doing. I was worried, but I managed to get back down to where I was last Saturday. I didn't exactly lose if we're going from Saturday to Saturday, but from Tuesday to Saturday, I lost almost 4 lbs. I'm good with that.
Tomorrow starts spring break at work and for me in my classes. This year I have no assignments hanging over my head that are due next week. My next assignments aren't due until the week after break, so I can enjoy myself. My Biggest Loser trainer sent me a really nice email with some workouts for this week, and he complimented my work ethic and said I was working super-hard and he's really happy with that. That was nice to read!
Today was finally a nice day so Duke and I went for a 2 mile walk. He loved it since he hasn't had a big walk like that for a long time. Tomorrow and Tuesday are supposed to be in the high 50s or low 60s, but then they are calling for some blasted snow again! GRRR! I've had enough snow and cold. I'm ready for spring, just like everyone else in this part of the country.
Do you have a scale addiction? Were you able to break it? Do you let the number on the scale ruin your day?
I decided that apparently the only way for me to possibly lose weight was to have bariatric surgery. I went to the Memorial Medical Center's website and signed up. Well, it's not really that easy...first you have to sign up for pre-screening. I got denied. I don't weigh enough to qualify for surgery, and I have no co-existing conditions (diabetes/pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) that qualify me. So that was kind of a kick in the teeth, too!
On Wednesday, I met with Jennifer, my
Another thing we talked about was my worry about going to dinner on Saturday night with some family and friends. We were going to eat at my mother-in-law's house, and I knew we'd be ordering pizza. I didn't want that meal to undo everything, but I also wanted to not be all "special" and not be able to eat what everyone else was eating. This is going to come up in life from time to time and I need to deal with it. We decided that I would take a large chef salad with me and I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza. I did exactly that and it was fine. I did also "splurge" and have 1/2 cheese breadstick as well, but I was still under my 1600 calories for the day! My MIL surprised me when she brought out some cookies, but I managed to stay out of those. Now had we eaten at the restaurant, I would have gotten a big salad bar and had 1 slice. It would still work!
So I had to wait for Saturday to weigh in and see how I was doing. I was worried, but I managed to get back down to where I was last Saturday. I didn't exactly lose if we're going from Saturday to Saturday, but from Tuesday to Saturday, I lost almost 4 lbs. I'm good with that.
Tomorrow starts spring break at work and for me in my classes. This year I have no assignments hanging over my head that are due next week. My next assignments aren't due until the week after break, so I can enjoy myself. My Biggest Loser trainer sent me a really nice email with some workouts for this week, and he complimented my work ethic and said I was working super-hard and he's really happy with that. That was nice to read!
Today was finally a nice day so Duke and I went for a 2 mile walk. He loved it since he hasn't had a big walk like that for a long time. Tomorrow and Tuesday are supposed to be in the high 50s or low 60s, but then they are calling for some blasted snow again! GRRR! I've had enough snow and cold. I'm ready for spring, just like everyone else in this part of the country.
Do you have a scale addiction? Were you able to break it? Do you let the number on the scale ruin your day?
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