Emotional Week

This week was full of ups and downs.  It started with the scales inexplicably climbing up, up, up until I had gained almost 4 lbs.  There was NO logical reason for this.  I was exercising, drinking my water, staying in my calorie range, and eating healthy food.  So why the gain?  No clue, but it was maddening, disheartening, depressing, and made me incredibly sad.  Especially when people who weren't even trying to lose weight reported to me that they had lost weight.  Seriously?!?!

I decided that apparently the only way for me to possibly lose weight was to have bariatric surgery.  I went to the Memorial Medical Center's website and signed up.  Well, it's not really that easy...first you have to sign up for pre-screening.  I got denied.  I don't weigh enough to qualify for surgery, and I have no co-existing conditions (diabetes/pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) that qualify me.  So that was kind of a kick in the teeth, too!

On Wednesday, I met with Jennifer, my psychotherapist dietitian.    It was a very emotional meeting, and we talked for an hour.  She has no explanation for the gain either (I was up 3 lbs on her scale from last week's weight).  I am doing everything that I should be doing.  Mathematically speaking, I should be losing.  Reality, however, seems to have other ideas.  After talking with her my goals for the week were to stay off the scales.  They are causing more problems than anything and ruining my day.  I will only weigh on Saturday, my regular day, and on Wednesday with Jennifer.  I also adjusted my calories down just a smidge to 1500-1600, no more than 1600 and no less than 1500.  And then I am going to keep doing what I'm doing.

Another thing we talked about was my worry about going to dinner on Saturday night with some family and friends.  We were going to eat at my mother-in-law's house, and I knew we'd be ordering pizza.  I didn't want that meal to undo everything, but I also wanted to not be all "special" and not be able to eat what everyone else was eating.  This is going to come up in life from time to time and I need to deal with it.  We decided that I would take a large chef salad with me and I would enjoy 1 slice of pizza.  I did exactly that and it was fine.  I did also "splurge" and have 1/2 cheese breadstick as well, but I was still under my 1600 calories for the day!  My MIL surprised me when she brought out some cookies, but I managed to stay out of those.  Now had we eaten at the restaurant, I would have gotten a big salad bar and had 1 slice.  It would still work!

So I had to wait for Saturday to weigh in and see how I was doing.  I was worried, but I managed to get back down to where I was last Saturday.  I didn't exactly lose if we're going from Saturday to Saturday, but from Tuesday to Saturday, I lost almost 4 lbs.  I'm good with that.

Tomorrow starts spring break at work and for me in my classes.  This year I have no assignments hanging over my head that are due next week.  My next assignments aren't due until the week after break, so I can enjoy myself.  My Biggest Loser trainer sent me a really nice email with some workouts for this week, and he complimented my work ethic and said I was working super-hard and he's really happy with that.  That was nice to read!

Today was finally a nice day so Duke and I went for a 2 mile walk.  He loved it since he hasn't had a big walk like that for a long time.  Tomorrow and Tuesday are supposed to be in the high 50s or low 60s, but then they are calling for some blasted snow again!  GRRR!  I've had enough snow and cold.  I'm ready for spring, just like everyone else in this part of the country. 

Do you have a scale addiction?  Were you able to break it?  Do you let the number on the scale ruin your day?