Satisfaction

I set a goal for myself to go to the gym and do at least 2 hours of working out.  Then when I got up this morning, I didn't want to.  I was comfy in my chair and wanted to stay there all day long.  Thankfully, my husband told me I had to go.  And so I did.

Today was also weigh in day for me.  I climbed on the scale with trepidation because, although I've been working my butt off, I've seen a little gain every week for the last 3 weeks and it was starting to upset me.  However, I made a couple of small changes and they paid off.  I had a loss of 3.25 lbs.  My weight is now 229.25.  I have lost a total of 48.25 lbs since I began this journey so many years ago.  Slow and steady...but we need to pick up the pace again!

I haven't been in the 220s for probably 20 years, so the feeling of hitting that number is pretty awesome.  Now the goal is to hit the 2teens.  Trying to take this journey 10 lbs at a time.  That way I won't get overwhelmed thinking of how far I have to go.

My ankle was still hurting today, but not as bad.  I really wish I knew what was going on, but I'm also afraid to know what's going on.  Speaking of pain, I haven't really been able to do push ups on my knees since surgery.  The pressure on whatever is healing below my kneecap was just too much.  Today, I decided to give it a try.  I couldn't do them exactly like I used to (with my knees bent, all pressure on kneecap), but I was able to straighten my legs and do them.  I did 125 of them, as a matter of fact.  Along with 125 lat pull downs @ 55 lbs, 125 squats, and 125 sit ups.  I also did 20 minutes on the stationary bike, and 45 minutes on the treadmill (which included Week 1, Day 3 of C25K).  And then hubby and I went for a 60 minute walk this evening. 

Tomorrow I'm hoping to get my hands on some fresh kale.  I've been wanting to try it for a while, but just never worked up the nerve.  I'm very hesitant to try new foods sometimes, for fear I won't like it and I'll have wasted my money.  A local produce farm is selling it in a farmer's market-type setting, and it's only $2 for a Ziploc gallon bag.  I can spend $2 to try something!  And so I'm going to.  I can't wait to see what other veggies they have for sale.  I'd rather support a local family and get garden-fresh produce than buy the picked/shipped from who-knows-where stuff at the grocery store or Walmart. 

So perhaps I'll have a report coming soon on my experiment with kale.  I'm really hoping I fall in love with it (like I did asparagus)!

Monday Night Weigh In

Tonight's weight was 243.5, up 1.5 from last week.  Not very impressive, huh?  I had pizza last night for the first time in quite a while.  I was surprised to learn that I do not like pizza any more.  Huh, who knew?  Did not see that coming.  I'm glad, though, because it will certainly cut down on those cravings.  I need to remember how awful my stomach felt and how greasy and gross my mouth tasted for hours afterward.  Also, I'm sure that helped a great deal in that 1.5 lb gain.

I'm gearing up to help lead a Healthy Eating Challenge at the gym.  That's right.  I'm going to be trying to teach people how to eat healthy.  That seems so weird.  One of the things I want to do is visit a local grocery store and have their nutritionist give us a tour and teach us how to shop.  Seems simple, but I know there are people that this would really help.  Hopefully it will help some people in our group and they are interested in doing this!

Another weird thing that has been happening is that I'm starting to crave veggies.  None in particular...just want veggies in general with my meals.  Never saw that coming either. 

Hopefully my next weigh in report is better than this one.  I don't like seeing the scale continue to move in this direction!

Stepping outside the comfort zone

In order to lose this weight permanently, I have to change my lifestyle.  Notice I didn't say, "I have to go on a diet."  As Richard Simmons says, "The first three letters of diet are D-I-E, and I don't wanna die!"  Neither do I, so I'm making a lifestyle change.

As with any change, it's not easy.  I'm having to learn new ways of doing things.  There are some foods that will just have no room in my new life.  And I'm told that my taste buds will change and there are some foods that I will no longer wish to eat.  I know that this is true because I've drank diet soda for several years and the regular stuff is gross now.  I just have to get to that point where the greasy, fat-filled burgers/pizzas are unappealing instead of what I'm craving.

In order to make this lifestyle change, I have to learn to eat new foods.  This terrifies me for some reason.  I don't know how to prepare some foods, especially veggies.  I'm also afraid I won't like it and I'll waste money.  Or maybe I'll be a little hungry. 

Instead of being afraid, I know that I need to embrace the change and view it as an OPPORTUNITY.  A chance to experiment, find my inner Bobby Flay, Rachel Ray, or Guy Fieri (not Paula Deen, I think she's a heart attack in a pan).  Instead of thinking, "Gosh, what if I don't like it?" I should be thinking, "Gosh, what if this is delicious and I'm missing out???"

To help overcome my "fear" of new foods, I'm going to try something new at least once a week.  And I'm going to tell you all about it!  Win-win!  I will try a new food, and I'll get something to blog about, too!

I'm about to embark on my first experiment tonight!  I bought some ground turkey and I'm going to get all Bobby Flay on it and make turkey burgers.  Come back tomorrow to hear how that went!

Heroes and Veggies

Tonight's CrossFit workout was what we call a "Hero Workout."  They are created and named in honor of a service man/woman that gave their life for our country.  They are hard.  They suck.  But it is an honor and privilege to do them.  As I told the class tonight, they made the ultimate sacrifice, so the least we can do is make a small sacrifice in the gym by doing this workout.

I have a problem with negative self-talk when I do these hard workouts.  It gives me time to think and I get upset with myself because of what I can't do.  But that also drives me to go harder.  I know I am capable of more, but there's too much bulk to move around very fast.  And I know I am WAY harder on myself than anyone could ever dream of being.  I expect perfection and get angry when I don't give it. 

The details of the workout.... 3 rounds, for time:  50 sumo deadlift high-pulls; 25 burpees (not able to do, subbed 25 squats and 25 push ups); 25 box jumps; run 400 meters.  I finished in 29:16.  I'm still mad at myself. 

I've been trying to expand my food horizons with steamed veggies.  I hate vegetables, except the ones that really aren't good for me - like corn!  Love corn, but corn is actually a grain, and grains are of the devil.  Monday night I had a bag of steamed veggies that included roasted potatoes (also evil), peppers (ick), and snap peas.  Oh my stars, I hate snap peas!  They were awful, but I ate them all anyway.  I reminded myself what Andy and Kristy have told me - food is fuel. 

Tonight, I had a different bag of veggies.  I didn't pay a lot of attention to what was in there.  I knew cauliflower (ick), carrots (ick), and something else.  I was exhausted (still am) when I got home from the gym, so I just threw the bag in the microwave.  As it cooked, I could smell this horrid odor that was vaguely familiar.  I was too tired to really process it though.  I finally got up and got the bag out and opened it up.  Oh!  The smell was atrocious!  I checked the list of veggies -- those stupid snap peas AGAIN!

I've been sitting here with the bowl beside me for over an hour now.  I'm hungry, but I have to eat my veggies before I can have the chicken that Mike grilled for me.  *sigh*